Honesty

Honestly, I have not decided on what I'm giving up or giving for the Lenten season.  However, in my continuing endeavor to write my autobiography, I have found that it's really easy to write about the job and details.  But it is not so easy or comfortable to be honest about how I felt about the job.  

I am a firm believer that in every experience we have (jobs, relationships, locations, etc),  we learn from those experiences.  The lessons I have learned, I am trying to be honest about them.  
Do I like that I have write honestly that I ruined a good friend's wedding or that I wish I had made love to a married man? But that is who I was and it's a part of me... created from those experiences.  

I'm sorry, honesty is not for the faint-of-heart!  It's not easy writing about your past and what I did and felt about those times. I am who I am!  That comment is not meant to excuse my behaviors in the past or present.  I think that I have learned some lessons.  Lessons that some day I hope I can share with others.  

Who knows?  Maybe my honesty will help someone else find their way on their life's journey.  

Today is Fat Tuesday and maybe this blog is my way of skimming off the fat and seeing what's really under it.... the "broth" (sustenance) of my life.  

Mardi Gras

Mardi Gras is French for "Fat Tuesday", reflecting the practice of the last night of eating richer, fatty foods before the ritual fasting of the Lenten season.

Mardi Gras is officially tomorrow, however, in this RV resort, they were going to celebrate today with a parade.   Not sure why a day earlier, but we were ready to watch the parade and say a few "cheers."  The primary colors of Mardi Gras are the jewel tone colors, purple (amethyst), emerald (green), and ruby (red).  Add to that the mineral, gold, and you have a festive looking float or attire. 

Here's hubby ready for the parade.  Unfortunately, we found out after waiting for a while that the parade was postponed until later.  Cloudy with a chance of rain didn't phase us, but the float makers were probably concerned about their streamers getting wet and soggy.

Lenten season starts on Ash Wednesday and although it's the Catholics that traditionally follow the ritual of fasting, many other denominations have taken up the practice.  People give up soda, sweets, swearing and as long as we're on the "S" words, some people may give up sex!  I don't know of any people that would....but just saying.  

Recently, I have seen some articles on  starting a new Lenten ritual of Giving instead of Giving Up.  That's interesting.  Either way, I'm not sure what I should give or give up.  But, if nothing else, it gives me a chance to reflect on my life and more importantly my spiritual life.  Yesterday, I came across the song....   "Let there be peace on earth and let it begin with me"  The song has been a long time favorite of mine.  PEACE has been a special word for me and I have that word displayed several places in my home.  Peace is something I have sought in my life and finally at age 65, I feel a good amount of peace.  

For those new to reading my blog, I am sure you may have wondered how I came up with thepesproject as its domain name.  Attaining peace in my life has been a lifelong project, with its ups and downs.  A project that will have no end until I pass away.  If you look up the word peace in the dictionary, it's pronounced pes with a long "e."  To me PES signifies Physical, Emotional and Spiritual health.  I try to make my actions promote peace or health in these areas of my life.  Sometimes, I succeed, sometimes I struggle (i.e. ups and downs of the project).

So, how will I promote peace during the Lenten season?  Will I give up something or give more of something?  I don't have the answer yet, but I do have one more day before Ash Wednesday.  It's a good thing the resort was going to celebrate early so it reminds me that I have time to decide.  Have a great Fat Tuesday tomorrow!

A Little Light on the Subject

Yesterday hubby and I went to Papago Park in Tempe to see this huge rock with holes carved by water and sand.  As I was gong up the path heading for the larger hole, I saw this one above me and the sun was shining through it.  It was like a spotlight on the path, lighting up about a 4 feet section.  Several of us took a few minutes and just stood in the spot, bathed in sunlight.  As a photographer, it is often difficult to get a photo of the sun without sunspots.  I feel blessed to have gotten this photo of the sun through a hole in the rocks.  It was like it was a sign of light being shown on my path.  

After writing my blog yesterday about fear and vulnerability, I felt like something had let go of its hold on me.  I felt relieved.  I still feel that way today.  It was cathartic for me to write out my feelings and thoughts.  My emotions needed release and my body needed to breathe.  Breathe, whether it is talking out or writing out.  Once I released all that negativity, I was able to breathe in new air and feel peace.  Yes, the light was shown on my path.   

Vulnerability

Vulnerability - the quality or state of being exposed to the possibility of being attacked or harmed, either physically or emotionally.

I can't deny it.  I have felt vulnerable lately.  Writing my blog and sharing it on Facebook is a choice I have made...to be BOLD (as I shared in 2/17/17 blog titled FEAR).  However, fear has reared its ugly head again with me.  

Are my writings worthy of being published on a blog and posted on social media?  In other words, am I worthy?

Are my writings just a way for me to seek approval from others?  In other words, I want people to like me.

Will I continue to write even if I get no feedback or will I stop writing?  In other words, I feel the fear of failure.

For several year now, basically since I have retired, I have felt relaxed.  I have been able to sleep well and undisturbed by worry.  Suddenly, I have decided to make some changes in my life - Blog; write autobiography; plan meals, just to name a few changes.  Now, my sleep is disturbed by worry and wondering if I can get it all done.  Will I quit the projects like I have so many times before.  Fear of Failure!  Fear becomes worry, worry becomes insomnia.

Writing a blog certainly makes a person feel vulnerable.  Wondering if I will be "attacked" for putting my thoughts and actions in writing.  However, quite the opposite has happened.  I am getting very little feedback on my blogs, a comment now and then on blog site and a few likes on Facebook.  Lack of feedback, for me, is like being attacked emotionally.  Yes, I want people to like my blog, therefore they like me.  Oh!  I hate that I have to write that...but I still seek approval from others.  Blame it on the "queen" in me!  {One of meanings of the name Rayna is queen}

Yes, the queen likes to have reign (have control) of her territory (i.e. life) and have her countrymen worship (i.e. love) her.  It's not easy being the queen!  However, if I am really a queen, I will go boldly into the countryside, proclaiming my words....whether I get cheers, jeers, or silence...I will not let FEAR hold me back!  

Until my carriage of fear breaks down again.  And when it does, I promise to share my thoughts and feelings with you.  I will not give up!

 This photo was taken of me coming out of Tombstone bar....being bold...just for fun!

New road!

"New road! New road!"  Hubby and I exclaim as we embark on another journey in Arizona.  It's not only the mountains, but the simple things that give us a HIGH!  :)   This afternoon we headed north to Saguaro Lake, the fourth lake created by dams on the Salt River.  Now we have seen all four lakes.  

Tonight we headed 20 miles east to try get some photos of the Superstition Mountains at sunset.  Truthfully, I am tired out and out of writing ideas, so I will bid adieu!  Here's some photos from our day on the new road.

Memories

Memories, pressed between the pages of my mind 

Memories, sweetened thru the ages just like wine.

These two lines are from a song that Elvis Presley sang.  Granted I don't recall the song, but I liked the sentiment.  I have decided to start writing my autobiography.  Hmm?  Yes, it will be a brave undertaking and a bit risky to bare it all!  

A few things have prompted me to start this project and hopefully, this will be a project I can finish some year.  When I have shared a memory of a place I've been or lived, one of my sisters has said, "You need to write this down."  Granted, I don't have any children to share my memories with.  That fact should not and does not prevent me from writing down my life experiences.  Maybe I can have my siblings, nieces and nephews read it.  There have been 25 years that I have not lived near them and some of my memories will be unknown to them. 

Another thing that has prompted me is the Creative Writing group I am participating in at this RV Resort.  Our writings have been focused on memories.  So it seems logical that I have been thinking of a lot of my memories.  The third prompt is a self-help book that I bought last week and the author, Aliza Bloom Robinson has the reader do an mindful exercise.

Step onto the escalator and begin your descent down.  It is an adventure and feels exciting and very safe.  As the escalator takes you down, begin to see your life, like a mural on both sides.  See your current life, the last few decades; see yourself in your twenties and teens.  See your childhood.  You see these times with no judgment, only curiosity and compassion.  Simply notice what you notice.  As the escalator continues its journey, see your infancy, and the time just before your birth in this life time.  See the space between the worlds.

The sentence, "see your infancy, and the time just before your birth" really made me think of how my parents came together and how their personalities and histories framed me and my life with them.  Later, I would share my parents with seven siblings, but as first born I had a privilege and burden of being their one and only for a while.  It was an interesting time and I'm eager to write about it. 

Today, I called my mom to see how she was doing and making sure she was all hunkered-down for the snow storm they are predicting for the Midwest.  So, I took advantage of asking her some questions and verifying things I thought I knew about myself.  

Yes, I was born feet first which explains why I have been on the move ever since!  I weighed 5 pounds, 15 ounces when born, but my dad excitedly told all the people on his milk route that I weighed 15 pounds, five ounces.  Just a small detail.  :)   

Speaking of details, my mom told me that the neighbor ladies held a baby shower before I was born.  "There were 38 ladies there."  She told me some of the gifts I got.

When I got off the phone, my hubby said, "How does your mother remember that there were 38 ladies at the shower"  Oh, believe me...she does!  Her mind is list of things, events and after a gathering, she will tell you exactly how many people were in attendance.  Guess what, I have a list of lists in my phone and computer.   Here's some examples:

Grocery List...  no big deal
Blog Ideas....    empty right now
Things to do (in Wisconsin) in 2017
Prayer list
Bucket list
Islands & Central America ... countries we have visited
Cruises ... ships & ports
WWW years and where held
Family Christmas hosts

Oh, there's more!  Just don't want to bore you.

Truthfully, my memory just can't keep all this data in my brain and readily available like it did in my younger days.  So, I have to keep lists.  Maybe, another prompt to writing my autobiography is because no one has been with me through all of my life.  No one has my memories and someday, I may need prompts to remember my own life experiences.  So back to writing I go!  

Historic to Futuristic

Today, we went exploring with long-time friend, Diana and her husband Jerry.  Got up really early, even before sunrise and then a hardy breakfast set us on the way to Tucson.   First of all we went to San Xavier church south of Tucson.  It was commissioned in 1692 and the original church building did not last and construction of this building occurred in the years 1783 - 1797 and it is the oldest intact European structure in Arizona.

I visited this church in my travels in 1980 and I remember it looked quite run down with paint chipping and peeling.  Upon stepping into the church I wondered if I was thinking of a different church.  But then I discovered that a restoration project was started in the 1990's and is still going on.  What a transformation!

Then we continued our historic exploration and when to the Presidio (fort) in downtown Tucson.  The Spanish started constructing this fort in 1776, the year of the American Revolution.  The adobe fort deteriorated and only upon excavation did they discover artifacts and the walls.  A portion of the fort has been reconstructed.  

This was an emblem patch (representing Spain's flag) on a "shield" made of 14 layers of deer skin.  These vests were made to protect them from arrows and bullets.  

After a light lunch, we headed into the future!  Biosphere 2 north of Tucson.  This Biosphere 2 cost $15 million to build, paid from private investors.  It was the site of a scientific, physical and mental experiment that had eight people living in this enclosed area for two years (1991-1993).  It was not an easy situation for them...no going out into fresh air, eating the same amount of food as everyone else, regardless of their weight or metabolism.  There was a lot of work growing or trying to grow a rain forest, savannah, desert and ocean in the glass building on the left.  

The small dome on top of the larger dome (on left center) was the library for the scientists.  However, there were so many steps up to the library and the participants did not have the energy to go up there after dinner, so it was rarely used.  This place is an engineering and architectural wonder, but I wonder what the architect was thinking in making the library up there?

 Now the whole complex has been bought by the University of Arizona to conduct further scientific experiments. 

As we were leaving the property, we were treated to the sight of some cattle crossing the road.

It was a wonderful day and ended with a red stained clouds and here are Diana & Jerry .

Adios Amigos!

Organized???

One of my sub-titles for this blog is Rambling Rayna.  Yes, I ramble in my thoughts, actions and writings.  As you can see by my recent posts, hubby and I are quite spontaneous in our explorations.  We decide at the last minute to do this or that for the day.  Another way I am spontaneous is in making meals.  I won't say "planning" meals as that doesn't usually happen!  

It's usually, "What do you want for dinner tonight?"  

Hubby replies, "What are my choices?"

I saw on Facebook recently an idea for planning your meals.  Put the ingredients into a plastic bin for each day of the week.  I thought it was a good idea for knowing what you are going to make and also what you need to buy.   Then I thought of the fact that I need to plan meals in order to put the ingredients into the bins.  So I started making a list of the meats, starches, veggies, and fruits that hubby and I like.  Then we discussed how often in a four weeks period we would want these items.  Hubby likes pork, especially ham, so that would be on the menu more often.  We both like chicken, so that's a frequent contender.  I made a list of each food item and how often we would like it.  At this point, hubby says, "Aren't you getting a little anal in this planning?"  

Well, wait until he sees my spreadsheet I worked on all afternoon while he was out golfing.  Four weeks of planning meals is almost done!  It is not easy, as we don't want pork three days in a row.  But other times when I plan to be making a crock pot of pot roast, I had to plan on pot roast  sandwiches a day or two later.  Granted I can put some left overs in the freezer, but our freezer is quite small.  So, I should plan on using left overs within a couple of days.  

Once we get back home, I will try out this new organizing system of planning meals.  I hope I don't become too anal about this and become a pain-in-the-butt!  Or my next organizing task will be to re-arrange our toilet paper in the cupboards!

Delaney's the Explorers!

Dora the Explorer has a love of embarking on quests related to an activity that she wants to partake of or a place that she wants to go to.  Sounds like the Delaney's!  Last night I was talking with a longtime friend that has lived in Arizona for several years.  I was telling her what we had done and where we had gone during our time here.  She said, "Pretty soon you're going to be telling us what to do and where to go."   There is no doubt, hubby and I like to explore the area we are in.  Guess that's one of the reasons we are compatible...love of traveling.  

Sometimes our travels include several days trip and other times, it's just a day trip.  Today, it was sunny after two days of rain, so I was eager to explore an area park that I had read about.  It's South Mountain Park, just south of downtown Phoenix.  15,000 acres and it's free!   We first went to the east entrance and walked into the desert on one of the many trails there.  I told hubby that there was another entrance to the park and we found it.  We drove up five miles to the summit and to the Dobson overlook .  What a beautiful drive and you could see the whole Phoenix valley from up there.  There was an old stacked stone building up there which made for some interesting views.  On the way back down, we stopped at original entrance building and the Scorpion Gulch ranch.  

Here are some photos from the day.

Nap Time

I am fighting sleep!  It's a cool and rainy day today.  In fact, it's only one degree warmer here than my hometown of Hudson, Wisconsin.  Hubby is watching golf and as much as I enjoy watching it, the low monotone voices of the announcers makes me sleepy.  Add to the equation the fact that I woke up at 5 a.m. and then laid in bed trying to go back to sleep.  No such luck.

So, I will just take out my hearing aids and lay down on the couch for a short nap.  I guess I could go to the bedroom and lay down on bed where it's dark and quiet...but that's not a NAP!  Going to lay on the bed is needed when you are sicker-than-a-dog and have to sleep for a long time to get your rest.  Nope, naps are meant to be taken in the living room.  Don't you agree?

I had better hurry up or it will be too late to take a nap.  Any naps after 5 p.m. will affect my getting to sleep tonight.  Taking naps is a science and certain criteria must be met, just like in all stories.

Who?   Me
What?  Nap
Where?  Living Room
When?   Before 4:30 p.m.
Why?  Because I feel like it
How long?  Depends, but usually 45 - 60 minutes.

Nappy time, that's all folks!

Laughter

"Laughter is the best medicine."

Some of us suffer from dis-ease in our bodies and souls.  Having a good laugh can make us more at ease in our lives.  Granted laughter does not cure all dis-eases, but it doesn't hurt us to try it now and then.  I like to laugh, but I don't watch sitcoms.  I am not sure if it's because I'm too serious of a person, I'm much more into drama.  Once in a while I will catch the show America's Funniest Videos and I will LOL laugh out loud.  But usually, I am watching it alone as hubby is in another room on his phone or computer.  He's not much into comedies, he's into serious dramas too.  Maybe, that is why I don't laugh very much.  I'm not exposed to it.  

Last night, I got exposed....to laughter that is!  There was a duo of entertainers here for a show, Gomer and Patsy.  Yes, Gomer Pyle was here....and Bill Clinton, Elvis Presley, Mr. Haney (from Green Acres TV), and Walter Brennan.  They sang songs and told jokes, lots of jokes.  Yes, laughter filled the ballroom.  It was wonderful sound.  It was a wonderful feeling.  Remembering jokes is not my forte', but here is one I remember

A young boy goes up to his grandfather and asks, "Can you make the sound that a frog makes?"  

Grandpa says, "Ribbit, ribbit, ribbit."

The young jumps up and down and screams excitedly.  Grandpa asks, "Why are you so excited?"

"Because grandma says that when you croak, we're going to Disneyland!"    😆

I bet some of you are groaning in laughter. Oh, I wish I could remember more jokes.  But, no matter what, I DO remember the good feeling I had in laughing so much.  Now, I must find some ways to create more laughter in my life.  Got any good ideas?  

Fear

At the RV resort that we are staying for the winter, there is a weekly Creative Writing group.  I have been attending and it has gotten my creative juices flowing again.  Today, we had a guest author that has written a few books in the genre of self-help.  I have been interested in this for years and I have helped myself through reading this type of book many times.  I am eager to read her book and guidebook soon.  Self-help books often come with guidebooks, so that we really get down to the nitty-gritty of our lives.  

She answered questions about publishing, and more importantly about writing.  Writing is not for the faint of heart, that's my philosophy.  Especially if you decide to share your writings with others in a group or on a blog.  

During my life, I had moments of timidness and moments of boldness.  Writing is bold!  Even if the subject is soft, cuddly, tearful and sad, the author is bold.  To be able to put words together and either make people smile, laugh, cry and most importantly empathize with the characters or thoughts is remarkable.  I don't claim to be able to do this YET.  But I am bold enough to try.  

If I am so bold, why did I label today's blog FEAR?  Most writers and basically, we humans have a fear of exposing ourselves to others.  Exposing our family is another fear.  We may talk about the "good life" that we have and not disclose the fears, sadness, or anxiety that we really feel.  It is possible, probable is more like it, that the author's inner feelings come out in their fictional characters.  In the forward of every fiction book is the disclaimer that states that none of these characters are for real.  Guess what?  Anyone close to the author will wonder if one of the characters is really based on them.   I don't think an author can write some of things they have written without experiencing it first hand in their own or other's lives.  

Overcoming fear is a huge catalyst to writing a self-help book.  The author has to deal with inner demons and be able to express how they overcame them.  If not, the reader won't be helped. Spilling your guts is not for the faint of heart.  Even my writings on this blog cause me to feel like I have spilled my guts.  How will people react to my "guts?"    

Putting myself and my thoughts out there in WWW -World Wide Web (i.e. public) is something I have chosen to do.  I know there are people out there that will think I'm crazy, others will think I'm caring, others will think I'm a character.  I have overcome some of that fear, thanks to my younger sister that is truly an author of her own blog.  I may only write this blog and a few pieces for the writing group, but I hope to continue this cathartic process.  I am BOLD, I will overcome my FEAR to help my life and the lives of others around me.  

A few years ago, there was an in-service at my former job.  For some reason, I only remember that the presenter talked about yellow cars and how few there are in the society.  "Now," he said, "you will see yellow cars everywhere.  At least half of you of you will see a yellow car on your way home today."   I tried to think of the last time I had seen a yellow car and I concluded there are not very many in the area where we lived.  On my ten miles drive home, I saw at least two yellow cars!  For some reason the  power of suggestion makes us very aware of some things.

Today, hubby and I visited Taliesin West, the home and architecture school that Frank Lloyd Wright built and started in the Arizona desert.  When built in 1937, the Taliesin was a distant settlement from other civilization.  Old Scottsdale, original downtown, is almost ten miles away.  Those men that wanted to join his school had to sleep out in the desert in tents, so that they "could get accustomed to living in nature."  F.L.W. felt that his designs and the designs of his students were to be incorporated into nature, not stand out obtrusively.  He called for homes to be built in the "brow" of the landscape, not on top of hills.  In fact, taliesin means "shining brow" in Welsh language.  Homes that blended with nature, including the use of many natural materials in his home.  He was known as the "king of concrete," and he used a lot of local rocks in the cement walls.  He became world famous and his designs were many and shining in the communities they were built.  

I have always been interested in the profile of his homes.  You may not know that I love to design homes, just for fun!  I did design our homes in Wisconsin (prior residence) and in Texas.  In fact, I am designing one now (in case I win the lottery) that has similar elements to F.L.W.'s homes.   So, of course, I was very interested in visiting Taliesin West.  Taliesin East is in Spring Green, Wisconsin.  Hubby and I are already planning a visit this summer.

The other day I blogged about V words, words with the letter V in them.  Just like yellow cars, I am seeing words with the letter V in them popping up everywhere.  In 1940, F.L.W. wrote The Organic Commandment and it contains the word Virtue.  What a strong word, yet seldom used today.   I leave you with this food for thought.

Love is the virtue of the Heart
Sincerity, the virtue of the Mind
Courage, the virtue of the Spirit
Decision, the virtue of the Will

Ventured Out For Adventure

Yesterday, I blogged about V-Day and today we ventured out for adventure in Arizona!  

 Hubby and I often do spur-of-the-moment trips to explore sites and experience new things.  Since we both have an interest in history, we often visit ruins of the Southwest.  Due to low humidity, these ruins remain intact and are hundreds of years old.  A couple of days ago we visited Casa Grande ruins and today we went to the Tonto Ruins.  In looking at the atlas, we thought we could get to the ruins off Hwy 88 - The Apache Trail.  So off we went.

It was a clear day with no clouds all day and the first site we saw on Hwy 88 north was this church at a museum with the Superstition Mountains in the background.

Went past Canyon Lake and since last time, it was cloudy, I got another photo.

Once we were past Tortilla Flats, we knew the road would become a gravel road. What we didn't know was that it was over 20 miles of gravel road and for a good distance, one lane, wash-boardy, with rickety-looking guardrails.  

Some rocky desert territory in Arizona

At the bottom of 10% decline, we stopped in the bottom of a canyon.  Liked the sun trying to peak over the mountain and the cave in the side.

The Saguaro Cactus is the "defining plants of the Sonoran Desert."  They grow to be 40 to 60 feet tall and live 150 to 200 years.   Some grow arms (up to 25) and others never grow arms. Just like humans, some have kids and others don't.  They are usually 95 to 100 years old before they grow arms.  They stand out in the desert landscape, so many of my photos feature them...they make a nice forefront focus for the distant mountains.

This one has lots of arms.

This one has a lot of baby arms

Hubby and I thought this looked like a Saguaro farm. 

Here is Apache Lake.

And another of Apache Lake with the road we traveled.

We kept waiting for the signs directing us to the Tonto Ruins and after we got on the main, paved  highway, there it was!  Of course, we could have gone the other way (quicker and paved roads) around to the ruins, but then we would have missed this adventure.  

No, I did not get all the way up to ruins.... it was a half mile walk UP 350 feet.  I got about halfway and was too winded and thirsty.  However, I did not waste my time.  Here's some cactus photos.

We have a lot more adventures planned, so tune in again!

V Day

Today is V Day - Valentine's Day!  Here are some random, very random thoughts on Valentine's Day.

Valentine's day is all about LOVE.  Isn't it ironic that both Valentine and Love have the letter V in the word?  V is not a very common letter and I have a difficult time thinking of words with a V for Words With Friends (a "Scrabble" computer game).  

LOVE = Loved Ones Venture Everywhere.  Venture, Adventure and Travel all have V's in their words. Woven, another word with a V, means being interlaced, an apt description for being in love.  

Yesterday I posted a Valentine's message to my hubby on Facebook and here's a few responses that we got.... "so sweet," "great example of love," and "two lovebirds."  Oh my, some very (another V word) high accolades to live up to!  In fact, last night on The Bachelor...yes, I'm a closet romantic...the bachelor sent home a lady from Wisconsin.  I guess she was too stoic for him..."it's hard to have a natural conversation with her."  Hmmm?  I looked at hubby and said, "I am not much of conversationalist, sorry."  It's true, we don't talk much during the days, we are both reading or on the computer.  I think I will drum up a game for us, picking one word a day to discuss.  Maybe that will get the ball rolling on our conversation skills.  
Did you notice a couple more words with V - live and conversation?  And how about give and receive?  I am seeing a trend here.  These words with V do correlate to Valentine's Day and the theme of LOVE.  Valentine's Day is only one day a year, but I can make everyday a V Day!  

Please feel free to comment or post a word with the letter V that you think reflects love!  

Limbo

Stepping down the stairs with the grace of a beauty queen looking out at all her admirers, I enter the pool of turquoise water.  My arms move rhythmically through the still waters and gentle ripples move out to make room through the swarm of admirers that try to touch me.  As I descend in the waters, my lacy dress billows out around me creating a whirlwind of color that blends with turquoise.  As my shoulders are covered with a shawl of water, I lift my feet and throw back my head with a winner's smile as I reach for my queen's scepter.  My arms are extended to thank my admirers as they carry me through the crowd.  I am light as a feather and move effortlessly through it all.  As I close my eyes to enjoy the muted sounds of the crowd, I see the bright color circles of spotlights through my eye lids.  My hair moves and swirls making a crown at my hairline. Yes, I am the queen!  

Splash!  Water in my mouth!  Warning!  Dreaming interrupted, as I bolt upright and look around for the naysayer in the crowd.  Who's that? How could they splash the "queen?"   All I can see are several humankind like me and no one seems to look like a naysayer or culprit. Oh, well! 

A couple of days (here in Arizona) were warm enough to go to the pool for a couple of hours.  Every time I go to the pool, I chastise myself for not going more often.  Floating in the pool is one of the most enjoyable activities that I can do.  Actually, I don't do much activity at all.  I float and I am a dang good floater, thanks to high body density and fat galore.  But when I am in the pool floating, I feel light as a feather.  With my ears in the water (and hearing aids out), the world's sounds are muted and mostly absent.  I close my eyes and see a microscopic slide of red blood cells all squirming in my sight.  The ripples of water makes my hair swirl like silky seaweed.  Yes, I am in limbo, being held up between the heaven and earth, air and water.  It feels so good. 

I have been thinking about this experience and I was not sure how to write about it and describe it, so I resorted to imagination!  Yes, when I am in the pool, I feel like a queen with all the glory of the world at my fingertips. I just hope my scepter does not rust.  

Friends in All Places

I thought of the Garth Brooks song, "friends in low places" when I thought of writing today.   Actually, I have friends from all places and now live in all places.  Yes, many of the friends I am referring to have been a friend to me when I was in low places.  I am thankful for them all!  It is turning out to be a busy week in Arizona with visiting friends six days in a row!  Here's the run down and a walk down memory lane on our relationships.

Friday, we hosted Diana & Jerry, originally from Minnesota, now living full-time in Arizona. Diana and I became friends in 1981, when we both worked at a half-way house for chemically dependent adolescents.  She brought laughter and hugs to our program.  We found a common bond in way our dads would do the one-finger wave while driving and meeting other cars on the road.  Another bond we found was our desire to travel and on our breaks, we would pore over maps and talk about the next place we wanted to visit or live.  California was a place I still wanted to see, as I had passed it up on my 1980 "Independence trip" to go to Colorado instead when I reached a crossroads on that trip.  So, it was in 1982 that she called me and said, "I'm moving to California and I have a free place to live for 3 months."  Well, so our friendship continued as we both moved to California.

Saturday, we met for breakfast with Jim & Judy from Texas, now living full-time in Arizona.  Paul met Jim at golf in Texas and we discovered we all went to the same church.  We went to breakfast after church with them a few times.  Then in later years in Texas, both Jim and I were on the Board of Directors at our respective communities and we would commiserate about the responsibilities and hassles of being on a board.  Shortly after we moved to Wisconsin, I saw on Facebook that they had moved to Arizona.  So, we connected with them and have seen them twice now.

Today, we are visiting and watching the Super Bowl with Doug & Grace, who have been living about nine years in Arizona.  We share a special bond with them because we are the two married couples from the company we worked in the 1980's.  Grace and I worked at an urgent care clinic company in Long Beach, CA.  Doug and Paul worked at the same company at the headquarters in New Orleans, LA.  We were all single and two romances and marriages came out of those jobs.  

Tomorrow, we are visiting Russell & Melissa from Ohio, who are visiting his parents in Arizona. They were on the Star Clipper's sailing ship cruise in the Caribbean about six years ago.  We shared a couple of excursions and the dining table every night.   Between three couples, we drank the ship dry of a certain wine we all liked.  We connected on Facebook and two years ago as Paul and I traveled to the Northeast, we were their guests in their fifth-wheel RV for the night.  All of us share a love of cruising and often write back and forth about our cruising.  This past December, we connected again on our Panama Canal cruise.  However, it was not the best cruise for any of us.  Paul was sick with pneumonia and Melissa and I both had colds. Then Russell got word that his father was critically ill, so they left the ship early.  Eager to get together with them and share some good times!

Tuesday, I am meeting Kathy for lunch.  Kathy is my newest friend of the group, as  I met her on the December cruise.  Paul was sick in his room and I went to buffet for something to eat.  I saw a lady sitting at a four-top table by herself and asked if the seats were saved for someone, and then asked if I could join her.  Turned out, she had moved to Tempe, Arizona which is not far from where we are staying.  We shared email addresses and promised to get together while we are in Arizona.  Turns out she was raised in St. Paul, Minnesota...therefore the Minnesota Nice in her personality.

Wednesday, we are hosting Lynn & Kathy originally from River Falls, now living full-time in Arizona.  We met 44 years ago last month while working at the same factory.  Lynn and Kathy were probably the first couple of our age that I hung out with myself and other single women.   They would get wild and crazy like us at times and at other times be the "parent" we needed to keep us in line.  Even though they are only three years older than me, I have always respected and admired them as "family."

Yes, these friends have been there for me in a lot of places....geographically, professionally, emotionally.  I am so fortunate to have these Friends in All Places!

Comfort Food

Comfort food is food which provides a nostalgic or sentimental value to the consumer, and is often characterized by its high caloric nature, high carbohydrate level, and simple preparation. The nostalgia may be specific to either the individual or a specific culture.


Anyone that knows me is well aware that my comfort food is pizza! I didn’t realize until reading the official (Wikipedia) description that pizza fits the bill exactly...high calories, high carbs, and simple preparation. Even frozen-to-oven pizza works for me! Better yet, is hot pizza made in a restaurant by someone else!

Pizza has been comfort food for years. My hubby always knew when I had a bad day at work, as I would greet him at the door with a loud, exasperated, demanding shout-out of “It’s a pizza and beer night!” He knew better than trying to cajole me with other food choices. No way! Not tonight!

I had my first pizza in college at one of several pizza joints in town. It was treat as it was more expensive than a cheeseburger and fries, which is my second choice for comfort food. Usually, there were several of us sharing the pizza to be able to cut the cost for each of us. I quickly learned that I couldn’t get enough of the pizza. I wanted more! The sight of the cheese, sauce and meat….got to have meat...on the pizza provided me with a high feeling! It tingled my sense of sight, smell and then the taste. Ow! I burned my mouth on the cheese. Again! Thinking about how many times I have burned my mouth with cheese, it is a wonder that I even like pizza. What’s the saying, “No pain, no gain!”

There was a time in life, that I had pizza every night! I am not kidding! Just ask my sister, we were living together. It was 36 years ago and I was struggling in my life. What to do for a job? At that point I had three part-time jobs and none were related to my college degree. Where do I live? Though I loved living with my sister, I had recently moved back to my home area from Colorado and I was having regrets about leaving Colorado. How do I make more money? The three jobs did not come close to making a living. So I bought a freezer full of pizzas that cost one dollar each. Yes, I had pizza for dinner every night.

It’s ironic that some people label frozen pizzas as “cardboard pizzas.” They were my sustenance and comfort food. Maybe, as the description of Comfort Food lists, pizza has a sentimental value as it kept me alive during a time in my life.

Sometime in our marriage, my hubby and I started having Sunday night pizza. This was usually in the fall and winter months, and usually affiliated with watching football. Again, I enjoy watching football and I especially like my Packers. Pizza has become a meal of celebration or mourning, depending on the score of the game.

It never fails, that when dining out, I will always look at their pizza selections. No, I do not always order pizza. Actually, rarely do I. As I am retired and no longer working, my “pizza and beer nights” have decreased dramatically. Go figure! But, I don’t think I could go a month without pizza. I think three weeks may be the longest I have gone between pizzas.

The last description of comfort food states “the nostalgia may be specific to either the individual or a specific culture.” Of course, pizza is often associated with Italians and rightly so. It was created in Naples, Italy in the late 1800’s. It was a simple pizza (tomato and basil), compared to today’s choices of toppings. When I first started eating pizza in the 1970’s, our choices were red sauce with pepperoni, sausage, mushrooms and a couple of other veggies that I did not care for. Today, many pizza joints are going back to the basics with a lot of vegetarian choices. But, there are lots of other choices in sauces and toppings too.

So, how in the world did a lady with heritage roots in Scandinavia become addicted to an Italian food? I guess I wanted something more than ketchup for my spice of life! To paraphrase a current commercial…. What’s on your pizza?