Two Weeks

Two weeks is about 4 percent of a year. Not much, a person could say. Sometimes two weeks can be the difference between life and more life.

Thursday, October 22nd was the beginning of the Walk to Emmaus (Christian retreat). Eighteen months ago I was a pilgrim (participant) in the Walk and had a life-enhancing, make that life-changing experience. So when I was asked to be a part of the team leading the Walk, I humbly agreed. The Walk goes from Thursday night through Sunday afternoon. I quickly discovered that there were aspects of the Walk that I had forgotten, so it felt like another first-time experience again.

There are talks given by lay persons and clergy and the Holy Spirit was with each and everyone of them as they delivered their messages. I say that because part of our upfront training for the Walk is to spend four Saturdays listening to the talks and critiquing them. What was often a very rough version of a talk during our training sessions were talks given as if they were all professional speakers. It was awesome to see the transformation, courtesy of the Holy Spirit and prayers surrounding them.

The pilgrims are divided into groups to sit at a table with a table leader and assistant table leader (me). It was very evident during the first morning that we had some ladies that may require special attention and prayers. There was a lady with ADHD; an unemployed lady with Fibromyalgia and a victim of sexual abuse; an elderly lady that was a wife of a pastor who didn't know "why?" she "needed" the retreat. I wondered how the table leaders of my past retreat would have described me? A lady that is withdrawn, angry and bitter.

Sometime during the first day, I thought, "Remember that Jesus comes to us in all types of ways." Was He coming to me in the lady with flighty movements and no attention span? Was He coming to me in the lady that cried a lot? Was He coming to me in the lady that knew it all? How would Jesus want to be treated? I found myself reaching out and touching them, sometimes not saying anything. Not saying anything because I was not sure my words would be kind and considerate as Jesus deserved, so I just touched them to let them know I was here for them. And with those touches, I felt the warmth of love and acceptance flow into me. Jesus was speaking back to me.

I wish I could say that it was all rosy for the whole weekend, but I have to admit that by Saturday afternoon, I went to a director and asked for prayer. I was worn-out, worried and I just needed to cry and pray. Both the crying and the prayer helped immensely. By the end of the retreat, I could see and hear that the lady with ADHD had so much knowledge; the lady with pain could smile again; and the lady who didn't need the retreat could say "Wow!" and vowing to get her friends to the next retreat.

At the end of the Walk, I could only say that I felt like a woman giving birth, so thankful for the end of the process and vowing to "never do it again" yet knowing that with time the pain will fade.

It was Sunday evening and I wanted to relax, but there was laundry to do so that I could finish packing for our trip. Monday morning at 5 am, we were on the road to San Antonio (four hours) to catch a plane (cheaper airfare if we flew from San Antonio) to Florida. We were going on a cruise! I have tried to talk hubby into going on a cruise for years and he's had no desire as his "last cruise was in 1969 in the Navy." So last year, he found a cruise he wanted to go on and now we're going.

I had never been on a ship for eight days so I was uncertain on how my body would react and accept the cruise. Luckily for us, the seas were calm and I had no qualms about cruising. We left port on Tuesday afternoon and Wednesday, we woke up in Bahamas. Went snorkeling and based on the photos we took, I can not snorkel and take photos at the same time... my thumb was in most of the pictures! After the snorkeling, we partied at Senor Frog's. The next day we were at Half Moon Cay, a private island owned by the cruise lines to be used specifically for their cruises. The beach was awesome with sugary, white sands and turquoise water. It was so relaxing, there is no other way to describe it. Friday, we traveled to Key West, arriving in time to go to Mallory Square and take pictures of the sunset. Lots of pictures! Key West was celebrating Fantasy Fest, an annual celebration that involves costumes of all sorts and body painting of all sorts.

I remember years ago, hubby calling for me to come to the computer and "look at this." When I first viewed the photos, I thought, "what beautiful costumes" people in the photos were wearing. Then hubby said, "they are not costumes, it's painted on their body." Wow! Very unique. These photos intrigued both of us and Fantasy Fest was one of the reasons he decided on this particular cruise trip.

Anyway, the cruise stayed in Key West for two days so we got to view all kinds of costumes and paintings, strolling the streets and watching the parade. Hubby opted for a couple of temporary tattoos on his chest courtesy of Captain Morgan's Rum, sponsor of the Fantasy Fest. We also toured Mel Fisher's museum and got to view some of the ship-wreck treasures.

Sunday was a day at sea and a day of rest, reading, and spending time by the pool. Monday, we woke up in Cozumel and we took a fast ferry to the Mexico mainland, Playa del Carmen. We boarded a bus there for an hour-long bus ride to Tulum, site of an ancient Mayan ruins. The ruins were fascinating, situated right by the ocean. Got a chance to go down to the beach below the ruins and cool off.

Tuesday was another day at sea and hubby's birthday. He started the day reading a book (his favorite activity) out on the balcony of our stateroom and in the evening we had a birthday dinner and last stroll out on the deck watching the full moon shimmer on the ocean. What a way to end the cruise.

Wednesday, we woke up Fort Lauderdale, Florida port and spent the day traveling back home. Thursday was a laundry day and try-and-get-my-land-legs-back day! I was still a-rockin' and a-rollin' that day. :) Well, yesterday, Friday, I went into work and I feel so refreshed. I really missed all of my co-workers. They are such a great group of people to work with, I'm so fortunate that I could spend two weeks away and not have to worry about the running of our department.

Two weeks is only 4 percent of a year. Yet what wonders of rejoicing, rejuvenation, relaxation, and refreshment can occur in that small time span. It certainly gives the physical, emotional, and spiritual being a new PEACE.

What if?

On my computer internet an advertisement pops up that has the headline "What if you died...?" It's certainly an attention-grabber as we don't want to think about death, do we? Today, I was listening to a talk being given by a member of our team preparing for the Walk to Emmaus (a Christian retreat), and the speaker spoke about such a revelation in her past. After having a near death accident, she came face-to-face with God in the questions of "What if I had died today? Would I be resting in God's arms right now?"

All her good works weren't going to get her to heaven, only faith in God. It's so simple, yet so many of just don't get it, do we? First we must have faith, then we can go out and do good works, reflecting to others what God has given us in time, talent and treasures.

I'm a hoarder. I collect (hoard) lions, photographs, house drawings, and books. I hoard my time, being selfish and staying home to avoid doing something. I hoard my talents, not volunteering to do anything. I hoard my money, not giving gifts to others or giving tithes to my church or food to the food pantry.

Yes, I have faith in God and know that if I died today, I would be resting in God's arms. I know that is enough, more than enough! However, would anyone other than God know that I am a Christian? Would anyone see God-like characteristics, qualities, talents reflected back to them? Am I a mirror for God?

Someday

Tomorrow, I turn 58 years old. It seems like yesterday that I was celebrating my 50th! Where does the time go? This milestone - 58 - is tougher to handle than my 57th. Last year I was just 2 years past 55 and this year I'm just 2 years away from 60. A lot seems to have transpired over one year.

Is that true? A lot has transpired over the past year?

Physically - I've gained weight again! Someday, I will accept myself as I am.

Emotionally - I've discovered that some people do not mellow with age, including me. Someday, I won't give a "dang" what other people say or do.

Spiritually - I'm blessed knowing that God loves me. Someday, I will become benevolent towards others as God is to me.

At the rate I'm going with the years racing by, "someday" will be here before I know it! Peace!

Getting Old or Getting Lazy?

Yesterday at a work meeting, several of us got on the subject of how many years of schooling it takes to get a masters in nursing or a degree in pharmacy. Every once in a while I think, "Maybe I should go back to school for....." Then I think, "Not!"

I have reached the point in my life where I don't want to learn much more. I want to just coast through my last working years and not tax my brain too much. That is somewhat burdensome to admit and somewhat embarrassing to admit. When did I get so old or so lazy or both? Even if I don't go to school, I still find that I'm learning on my job. Either it's skill and knowledge things that affect my department or it's personnel things on dealing with others. I wish I could learn how to turn off all the thoughts about work in the middle of the night or in the morning when I just want to get "one more hour of sleep." Some may call it "dedication," I call it frustrating! No more schooling for me, I spend enough of my hours at work, at least mentally that is!

Flip-flop Life

I have a plastic flip-flop air-freshener ornament that hangs from the mirror in my car. About five years ago, it was a gift from a friend to commemorate our desire and our push to wear sandals to our workplace. While the push (to wear sandals ) created the result of administration pushing back and not allowing it, those of us renegades looked upon our plastic flip-flop as a symbol of our mission and our sisterhood.

Over the years, the freshener has died out on the flip-flop, but the ornament is still alive with the colors of bright royal blue and lime green. The bottom of the flip-flop has wavy grooves as if to allow traction if you could walk in it. The grooves remind me of the ocean waves. The top has indentations to show where your toes would rest. I really like that ornament! It's a symbol to remind me to not take life so seriously, especially as I'm driving to work with a thousand things on my mind. It's a reminder of the beachy or Jimmy Buffet's "margarita-ville" lifestyle that I'd like to have.

Then I remember that I already have that lifestyle. On my time off, I can wear flip-flops everywhere (even my church) and at any time in my climate. I have a house that's open, has the cool colors of blue sky and sand of the beach with lots of beach scene and palm tree photos lining the walls. On my time off, I don't have obligations of making meals (hubby so graciously does that) or caring for children or doing housework (I pay for that). I have the LIFE!

I hesitate to end it there, like I should say more, but "what?" What do I say? That at times I don't thank God enough for this wonderful life. That at times I don't realize how great I have it. I need that ornament to remind me to be thankful for the life that I have created with God's help. [Hubby just brought me a cup of coffee to drink while I blog... doesn't get much better than this!] What do I say? Yes, I have the life!

Wildlife Surprises

There is wildlife everywhere, different varieties of animals and birds to see. On our recent visit to Wisconsin we were treated to some new sights. No, we didn't see any new breeds of animals, but we saw the same old animals in a different way.

Reflecting back a few months, we were taking my sister and brother-in-law down to South Padre Island and we showed them the spot that hubby and I had viewed hundreds of white pelicans. Having seen hundreds of brown pelicans at or near various spots in the Gulf of Mexico, we were surprised to see white pelicans, much less so many of them in one spot. My brother-in-law mentioned that he had seen white pelicans up in Wisconsin. We all remarked about that as it was nothing we had ever seen growing up there. Just like they never used to have opposums up there when we were young. So what a surprise on our trip up there that we were just a few miles into Wisconsin when we passed a pond and there was a white pelican.

The Trumpeter swan is another bird that has shown up more in Northern Wisconsin. However, as a child I never recall either seeing them or hearing of them. On a pond just outside of Siren, during the years we lived there, we have seen a pair of these swans during the spring of the year, some years the sightings only lasted about a month and the pair would be gone before summer ever arrived. Imagine our surprise when we were heading out of Siren on Fourth of July and passed the pond and there were the pair of swans plus four babies! I forced hubby to turn around in heavy holiday traffic and I got my camera and captured the experience.


Bears are another part of Wisconsin's wildlife. The sightings are sometimes a rare occurence. A person up there is more apt to see the remnants of what the bear has done..... ripped the bird feeders off their posts or rummaged through the garbage....the bear eats his fill and leaves a mess for the home owner to clean up. Usually this is done under the cover of darkness. One day we were driving into my sister's place (where we were staying on our vacation), we saw a bear walking parallel to the driveway. I quickly parked the car and ran into the house screaming, "Bear, there's a bear behind the house!" I took the steps two at a time to get to the basement to get my camera. By the time I got back up to the porch, the bear was halfway across the field and my camera did not capture much more than a blurred black spot in the middle of a green field. Oh well, I took a picture in my mind!

A day or so later, while having my morning coffee in my sister's dining room, I caught movement out in the same soybean field behind their house. There came two fawns and their mother deer. Before I tell you any more, I must say that deer are another member of the Wisconsin wildlife which with most residents have a love / hate relationship. We love them because we hunt them and they are good to eat. We love them when they stroll through our yards eating the grass and looking so picturesque. We hate them when they eat our flowers and shrubs (again, like bears it's usually done under the cover of darkness). We hate them because they tend to run in front of our vehicles and startle us and/or they get hit by our vehicle, which can cause thousands of dollars of damage.

I'm old enough that one of the first movies I may have seen on the big screen was Bambi. Who can forget the first sight of animals talking and doing things that humans did.... have fun, dance, laugh, have friends, cry. Bambi caused many a Wisconsin hunter's daughter to scream at her father upon his return from deer hunting, "How could kill Bambi's mother?!?" Oh my! Then those daughters grew up and hit a deer with their father's car. Ouch! All I can say is that I had a Bambi experience that I will never forget. The two fawns and their mother stepped out from behind the trees and we had a picture perfect view. This time, I did not run for my camera as I was afraid that I would miss out on their walk across the field. I knew this was a "take a picture in my mind" moment. Although it turned out to be more of a video in my mind.

The fawns and mother stepped out from behind the trees and suddenly the fawns started running in circles chasing each other. I just giggled and grinned. Then one of the fawns sprinted about 50 feet and stopped while the other fawn chased it. They ran back to mother and she must have told them, "You can't just run fast, you have to learn to jump too." Off the two fawns ran again, then they remembered Momma's words, so they jumped several rows of soybeans at the end of the sprint. They ran back to mother and danced around her and chasing each other in circles. Off they went again, both of them running and leaping across the field. Mother deer sauntered across the field, feeling confident that no vehicles or hunters were nearby to harm her babies. Again the fawns returned to the mother and then they decided to race to the fence to see who could get there first. Off they all went running, leaping, bounding across the field to a new life.

Thankfulness!

In my last blog before I departed on vacation, I said I planned to relax and rejuvenate. But actually it was hubby that rejuvenated, as he ended up in the Heart Institute in Minneapolis, where's he been a patient before. They ended up opening up two arteries that were 90 - 95% blocked with two stents. It's not the type of "rejuvenation" that one often thinks of, but it works.

My thoughts about vacation are ones of thankfulness.

Thankful that hubby's heart attack did not happen in the middle of Kansas, where we would have been unfamiliar with the hospitals and had no loving support from family nearby.

Thankful that hubby had a heart attack and NOT cardiac arrest.

Thankful that the heart attack did happen within miles of my previous employer and a great hospital. Also, the heart hospital where he was transferred to had all of hubby's medical records from previous heart treatment.

Thankful that family and friends were close by to offer support and prayers.

Thankful that I was still able to attend nephew/godson, David's graduation party.

Thankful that we were still able to do some visiting and having good times after hubby was released from hospital.

Thankful that we could actually witness a celebration of a marriage that has lasted sixty years, my parents.

Thankful that my hubby AND both of my parents are alive and well.

Thankful that we had a safe car trip up to Wisconsin and back again. 4200 + miles on this road trip.

Thankful for air conditioning when it's over 100 degrees when we got home.

Thankful that I had nine work days off and whatever problems await me at work will have to wait until tomorrow. I have a few more hours of relaxation and rejuvenation.