God sent the reinforcements to me! Pushing that boulder up the hill was getting very tiresome as I mentioned in my blog a couple of days ago. Like my sister commented, "an uphill battle."
I wasn't sure if I should give up or not. But God sent my youngest sisters with wonderful, up-lifting comments to make me feel so much better. God gave me the courage to get back on the scale after two weeks of eating.... too much and exercising.... too little! I really expected to have gained a lot of weight, but I was only one pound up. Then today God sent a co-worker from another department to come by and she exclaimed, "Rayna, you look awesome!" I kid you not, she said that. I know, I was surprised too.
These three "gifts" have given me the reinforcement to continue on this journey and push harder to get that boulder up and over that crest of a hill. Thanks, sisters & God!
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Boulders of Life
It's been four months ago today that I got on the scale and decided it was time to do something about my weight and my health, ill-health that is. Four months does not seem like a long time, yet it sometimes feels forever. This week, I wonder what I have accomplished other than losing a few pounds. I have better eating and exercising habits. Note, I write "better" not very good or excellent. That's OK for right now. My self confidence and assertiveness is stronger. Writing this blog is a major contributor to this. I feel more open to a spiritual relationship with God. All of these are accomplishments for which I am thankful.
Today's local newspaper carried an Associated Press article about "The Diet Debate - Critics: Government Ads too Soft on Fat" and the fact that 2 of 3 adults are overweight or obese. The article says that the new series of public service announcements are "too soft" and are a "wimpy attack" on "explosion of obesity in America." The president of the Ad Council is quoted, "So many people, when they think about losing weight, see it as a Sisyphean task - 'I have to lose weight but I can't fit it into my busy schedule'."
I had to look up the word "Sisyphean" as I didn't know what that meant. It refers to a cruel king that was condemned to roll a boulder up a hill in Hades to have it roll down each time it got close to the top. I may not have known the word, but I know the concept. Very few of we overweight and obese people have not suffered from this " Sisyphean task."
A few weeks ago, I felt like that man .... just about ready to crest the hill of having one-half of my weight loss goal accomplished & then it would be downhill from there (losing the rest of the weight). Regretfully, right now, I feel like the downhill is on this side of the hill, not the other side. I'm straining to hold that "rock" in place, my feet are sliding down the hill, the rock is getter heavier and heavier. Part of me wonders if I should just let the rock go down the hill as I dive out of its way and catch my breath before I go down there & start pushing up again? Or should I keep pushing as hard as I can even though it's exhausting to do so? Maybe my recent physical pain in my back, leg and foot have more to do with my emotional exhaustion than I realized. Holding up the rock is hard work. I know some people do not believe in your psyche' contributing to your physical health, but I do. Until I wrote all of this out, I had not thought of my physical pains having anything to do with my journey to Peace.
Yes, I needed to write again. It's been too long since I had written "deep" stuff and I had thought that I had nothing more to say or nothing more that I wanted to say. I guess I was wrong. Being wrong has been a hard pill to swallow lately. I have been wrong about writing about others and not myself. It only leads to problems. Once a word is spoken (and written) you can't take it back. Then the speaker/writer has to suffer the consequences, which can be a heavy load to carry ... or a heavy load to push up the hills of Hades.
Today's local newspaper carried an Associated Press article about "The Diet Debate - Critics: Government Ads too Soft on Fat" and the fact that 2 of 3 adults are overweight or obese. The article says that the new series of public service announcements are "too soft" and are a "wimpy attack" on "explosion of obesity in America." The president of the Ad Council is quoted, "So many people, when they think about losing weight, see it as a Sisyphean task - 'I have to lose weight but I can't fit it into my busy schedule'."
I had to look up the word "Sisyphean" as I didn't know what that meant. It refers to a cruel king that was condemned to roll a boulder up a hill in Hades to have it roll down each time it got close to the top. I may not have known the word, but I know the concept. Very few of we overweight and obese people have not suffered from this " Sisyphean task."
A few weeks ago, I felt like that man .... just about ready to crest the hill of having one-half of my weight loss goal accomplished & then it would be downhill from there (losing the rest of the weight). Regretfully, right now, I feel like the downhill is on this side of the hill, not the other side. I'm straining to hold that "rock" in place, my feet are sliding down the hill, the rock is getter heavier and heavier. Part of me wonders if I should just let the rock go down the hill as I dive out of its way and catch my breath before I go down there & start pushing up again? Or should I keep pushing as hard as I can even though it's exhausting to do so? Maybe my recent physical pain in my back, leg and foot have more to do with my emotional exhaustion than I realized. Holding up the rock is hard work. I know some people do not believe in your psyche' contributing to your physical health, but I do. Until I wrote all of this out, I had not thought of my physical pains having anything to do with my journey to Peace.
Yes, I needed to write again. It's been too long since I had written "deep" stuff and I had thought that I had nothing more to say or nothing more that I wanted to say. I guess I was wrong. Being wrong has been a hard pill to swallow lately. I have been wrong about writing about others and not myself. It only leads to problems. Once a word is spoken (and written) you can't take it back. Then the speaker/writer has to suffer the consequences, which can be a heavy load to carry ... or a heavy load to push up the hills of Hades.
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Food
I have been thinking about food lately.... and eating a lot of food lately. It's been hard to get back in the swing of things. Ever since this weekend, a couple of food events have stuck in my mind.
We have some picky eaters in my family and I think a sister called it "scary" food... like onions & mushrooms. A good example of picky eating was this weekend and two sisters ordered American fries. One ordered it with onions and cheese and the other ordered it without. I should say she ordered the waitress to have the cook "make mine (her fries) on a separate grill!" A separate grill that has not had the touch of onions on it. I didn't know that we could have kosher grills for American Fries. Needless to say, several of us - especially those of us that have worked short-order grills - burst out laughing at her request. What's even funnier was that she was dead serious! When it comes to onions, you don't mess around with this sister. We finally convinced her that requesting the cook make her fries first would be an appropriate request. She still really surveyed those fries before eating them.
Then in response to the comment about scary food, my hubby had to reply... "what will happen next year when you come to Texas for WWW and you're faced with menudo (stomach lining), barbacoa (beef cheeks), or churizo (highly spiced pork)?" Yes, I have tried all three of them and let's just say.... "I've tried it." You won't see me taking second helpings of the menudo, perhaps the barbacoa if it's not too fatty. But my Texan friends "love" it.
The other day one of our volunteers brought into work some sweet treats that I had not seen in a long time. This volunteer is Anglo and he brought graham cracker "sandwiches" with chocolate frosting in the middle as the filling. I had not had this treat in years so I grabbed one and devoured it. At lunch I was sitting with some of my Texan co-workers and one of them looked at the plate of treats and said, "What did Russell bring today?" The other two looked puzzled, perplexed and said as they wrinkled their noses, "I don't know what these are." I thought they were joking. I said laughingly, "What do you think these are?" I told them it was graham crackers with chocolate frosting. They said they had never heard of such a thing and they would not try them.... for fear of ....... I don't know what!
Yes, that was scary food for them. I guess there is scary food for all types of people, food that made us sick as children and we just can't quite swallow it as adults. Food that we have never seen or tried before and can not quite acquire a taste for it as adults. Food! So many different varieties and preferences.
I just wish that food was more scary and that I was a picky eater.... maybe it would be easier. You think?
We have some picky eaters in my family and I think a sister called it "scary" food... like onions & mushrooms. A good example of picky eating was this weekend and two sisters ordered American fries. One ordered it with onions and cheese and the other ordered it without. I should say she ordered the waitress to have the cook "make mine (her fries) on a separate grill!" A separate grill that has not had the touch of onions on it. I didn't know that we could have kosher grills for American Fries. Needless to say, several of us - especially those of us that have worked short-order grills - burst out laughing at her request. What's even funnier was that she was dead serious! When it comes to onions, you don't mess around with this sister. We finally convinced her that requesting the cook make her fries first would be an appropriate request. She still really surveyed those fries before eating them.
Then in response to the comment about scary food, my hubby had to reply... "what will happen next year when you come to Texas for WWW and you're faced with menudo (stomach lining), barbacoa (beef cheeks), or churizo (highly spiced pork)?" Yes, I have tried all three of them and let's just say.... "I've tried it." You won't see me taking second helpings of the menudo, perhaps the barbacoa if it's not too fatty. But my Texan friends "love" it.
The other day one of our volunteers brought into work some sweet treats that I had not seen in a long time. This volunteer is Anglo and he brought graham cracker "sandwiches" with chocolate frosting in the middle as the filling. I had not had this treat in years so I grabbed one and devoured it. At lunch I was sitting with some of my Texan co-workers and one of them looked at the plate of treats and said, "What did Russell bring today?" The other two looked puzzled, perplexed and said as they wrinkled their noses, "I don't know what these are." I thought they were joking. I said laughingly, "What do you think these are?" I told them it was graham crackers with chocolate frosting. They said they had never heard of such a thing and they would not try them.... for fear of ....... I don't know what!
Yes, that was scary food for them. I guess there is scary food for all types of people, food that made us sick as children and we just can't quite swallow it as adults. Food that we have never seen or tried before and can not quite acquire a taste for it as adults. Food! So many different varieties and preferences.
I just wish that food was more scary and that I was a picky eater.... maybe it would be easier. You think?
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Wild Women's Weekend
Well! Well, it's a deep subject. Heard that one before, have you? Again, well, it's been a while since I blogged and I have so many thoughts, it's hard to know where to start. This past weekend was my six sisters and my ninth annual sisters weekend, which we have titled, "Wild Women's Weekend."
First of all, I guess I'd have to say that I "fell off the wagon" this past weekend, I binged! I ate any and every kind of F food imaginable! I thought that with most of us sisters walking and/or in a weight loss program of some type, that the only kinds of food we would have at our sister's weekend would be healthy and nutritious. WRONG! I had to have my strawberry Twizzlers for my travel food, then we found an Amish bakery up the road that we unloaded about $60 total to them for candy, cookies, and pie. And then we went back there a second time on Saturday! I had tasted some of the candy that someone else bought on Friday so I bought two packages myself to take home. Last night as I was traveling by airplane to home, I was wondering what I was thinking buying all that candy to take home. Who was going to eat it? Me? Well, I knew that the candy was realllllly good and I was questioning myself if I could limit myself to one piece a day? Yet I promised myself that I would again eat healthy beginning today. I got home late (early this morning) about 1 AM, due to airline delays so I opened my suitcase long enough to check out the bag of chocolate chip cookies my friend, Vicki, sent with me for hubby. Everyone else, but me, makes him chocolate chip cookies.... that's a whole other blog subject. :)
Anyway, I put the cookies on the counter and left my suitcase on the dining room chair, figuring I would empty it today before work & stick the dirty clothes in the washer. This morning, after I moved the suitcase to the utility room, I felt a bite on my arm and hand. Lo and behold I had ants on me. It didn't take me more than a few seconds to figure out where those ants came from and I had a horrible thought, "They're in my candy, I bet!" Sure enough, my two packages of wonderfully, delicious candy were covered with ants! I guess I didn't have to worry about limiting myself to one piece of candy each day! Oh well, it's for the best for me, but I sure wish hubby could have tasted it.
I only walked one time in six days and that was an "accomplishment!" The small hamlet of a town that we were staying near had their first annual "stroll in the park" fun 5K run/walk on Saturday. All seven of us sisters participated and finished under an hour. It was fun as five of us had never done a 5K before. We even had our picture taken for the local newspaper, we all love attention.
Being with family can sometimes bring out the best in us and the worst in us! Why is that? Why does it seem sometimes that reason and logic go out the window when it comes to family? Is it because we know what "buttons" to push? Is it because we know each other so well that we don't think we have to be civil or tolerant of one another as we would with a stranger? Don't get me wrong, we didn't argue or fight all weekend. We just ..... had our moments.
I said something that one of my sisters took as sarcastic and/or accusatory and/or condescending .... and off we went to the "races." The race of which person can tell their side of the story and get the most other sisters to side with them? Yes, all of us sisters are thin-skinned in one way or another, another person can easily pierce our serenity and our sanity. In some respects I felt balanced this weekend being with family and in other respects I was way out of balance. It sure made home and hubby (and even work) look and feel wonderful after six days away!
Peace with you! Peace with me!
First of all, I guess I'd have to say that I "fell off the wagon" this past weekend, I binged! I ate any and every kind of F food imaginable! I thought that with most of us sisters walking and/or in a weight loss program of some type, that the only kinds of food we would have at our sister's weekend would be healthy and nutritious. WRONG! I had to have my strawberry Twizzlers for my travel food, then we found an Amish bakery up the road that we unloaded about $60 total to them for candy, cookies, and pie. And then we went back there a second time on Saturday! I had tasted some of the candy that someone else bought on Friday so I bought two packages myself to take home. Last night as I was traveling by airplane to home, I was wondering what I was thinking buying all that candy to take home. Who was going to eat it? Me? Well, I knew that the candy was realllllly good and I was questioning myself if I could limit myself to one piece a day? Yet I promised myself that I would again eat healthy beginning today. I got home late (early this morning) about 1 AM, due to airline delays so I opened my suitcase long enough to check out the bag of chocolate chip cookies my friend, Vicki, sent with me for hubby. Everyone else, but me, makes him chocolate chip cookies.... that's a whole other blog subject. :)
Anyway, I put the cookies on the counter and left my suitcase on the dining room chair, figuring I would empty it today before work & stick the dirty clothes in the washer. This morning, after I moved the suitcase to the utility room, I felt a bite on my arm and hand. Lo and behold I had ants on me. It didn't take me more than a few seconds to figure out where those ants came from and I had a horrible thought, "They're in my candy, I bet!" Sure enough, my two packages of wonderfully, delicious candy were covered with ants! I guess I didn't have to worry about limiting myself to one piece of candy each day! Oh well, it's for the best for me, but I sure wish hubby could have tasted it.
I only walked one time in six days and that was an "accomplishment!" The small hamlet of a town that we were staying near had their first annual "stroll in the park" fun 5K run/walk on Saturday. All seven of us sisters participated and finished under an hour. It was fun as five of us had never done a 5K before. We even had our picture taken for the local newspaper, we all love attention.
Being with family can sometimes bring out the best in us and the worst in us! Why is that? Why does it seem sometimes that reason and logic go out the window when it comes to family? Is it because we know what "buttons" to push? Is it because we know each other so well that we don't think we have to be civil or tolerant of one another as we would with a stranger? Don't get me wrong, we didn't argue or fight all weekend. We just ..... had our moments.
I said something that one of my sisters took as sarcastic and/or accusatory and/or condescending .... and off we went to the "races." The race of which person can tell their side of the story and get the most other sisters to side with them? Yes, all of us sisters are thin-skinned in one way or another, another person can easily pierce our serenity and our sanity. In some respects I felt balanced this weekend being with family and in other respects I was way out of balance. It sure made home and hubby (and even work) look and feel wonderful after six days away!
Peace with you! Peace with me!
Saturday, October 6, 2007
Spiritual Experience
Last week I wrote about weighing myself every day through last Saturday and the ups and downs of doing that. So this week I decided to weigh myself twice a week, but as it turned out it was a weekly weigh-in. Truthfully, my food choices have not been the best this week and I was scared to get on the scale. I did not want to see another 3-4 pound weight gain again! So I avoided the scale all week until today.
I have still been walking daily for two miles and I am trying some "jogging" sprints and "race" walking. It's getting my heart-a-pumpin'! It even affected my muscles in my legs, they were sore. But it feels good!
This morning I was the same weight as last Saturday. To me, that's success considering how I ate this week. I have lost a little bit over 13% of my body weight. The weight loss is slower now, but I'm still determined to lose 30% of my body weight.
This coming week I will be traveling to join my six sisters for our annual sister's weekend. One of the activities that is planned is to answer a dozen questions that will basically inform the others what's been happening for the past year in each of our lives - "all about you!" One of the questions is "Did you have a spiritual experience you wish to share?" I left that question blank until the end, because if you've been reading this blog, you know I have struggled spiritually. After reviewing my other answers, I came up with this response in referring to this PES Project.
At first I wondered if I would continue on this journey and when I passed the 25 pounds weight loss and then the 90 days mark, I felt like I had a spiritual experience. Because I thought "only God could keep me going with this."
It's not my will be done, it's His will be done. If it was my will, I would be sleeping in the morning and eating all my F foods- favorite or forbidden!
I am getting close to a weight that I got-down-to about 3-4 years ago, just before a Caribbean vacation. :) I am wondering what it will feel like to get one pound below that mark? Will I shout for joy or cry tears of joy? Stay tuned, it may happen this week or next week or the next week. I just know it will happen, if the good Lord willing and the creek don't rise!
I have still been walking daily for two miles and I am trying some "jogging" sprints and "race" walking. It's getting my heart-a-pumpin'! It even affected my muscles in my legs, they were sore. But it feels good!
This morning I was the same weight as last Saturday. To me, that's success considering how I ate this week. I have lost a little bit over 13% of my body weight. The weight loss is slower now, but I'm still determined to lose 30% of my body weight.
This coming week I will be traveling to join my six sisters for our annual sister's weekend. One of the activities that is planned is to answer a dozen questions that will basically inform the others what's been happening for the past year in each of our lives - "all about you!" One of the questions is "Did you have a spiritual experience you wish to share?" I left that question blank until the end, because if you've been reading this blog, you know I have struggled spiritually. After reviewing my other answers, I came up with this response in referring to this PES Project.
At first I wondered if I would continue on this journey and when I passed the 25 pounds weight loss and then the 90 days mark, I felt like I had a spiritual experience. Because I thought "only God could keep me going with this."
It's not my will be done, it's His will be done. If it was my will, I would be sleeping in the morning and eating all my F foods- favorite or forbidden!
I am getting close to a weight that I got-down-to about 3-4 years ago, just before a Caribbean vacation. :) I am wondering what it will feel like to get one pound below that mark? Will I shout for joy or cry tears of joy? Stay tuned, it may happen this week or next week or the next week. I just know it will happen, if the good Lord willing and the creek don't rise!
Tuesday, October 2, 2007
Normal
Just a quick note in my blog. October is here and now maybe life and blogging will get back to normal. September flew by with a week's vacation and then a week of not feeling well and trying to get caught-up at work (a never-ending feat)j. Then two weeks with hubby in the hospital & rehab for double knee replacement surgeries. Hubby should be able to come home today, so maybe life can get back to normal. But a person has to be careful because isn't "normal just a setting on the washing machine"? I'm not even sure if that's the case anymore. This morning I threw a load in the machine and there are so many choices of settings for load size, water temperature and spin speed... that it's truly enough to make your head spin.
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