It's been four months ago today that I got on the scale and decided it was time to do something about my weight and my health, ill-health that is. Four months does not seem like a long time, yet it sometimes feels forever. This week, I wonder what I have accomplished other than losing a few pounds. I have better eating and exercising habits. Note, I write "better" not very good or excellent. That's OK for right now. My self confidence and assertiveness is stronger. Writing this blog is a major contributor to this. I feel more open to a spiritual relationship with God. All of these are accomplishments for which I am thankful.
Today's local newspaper carried an Associated Press article about "The Diet Debate - Critics: Government Ads too Soft on Fat" and the fact that 2 of 3 adults are overweight or obese. The article says that the new series of public service announcements are "too soft" and are a "wimpy attack" on "explosion of obesity in America." The president of the Ad Council is quoted, "So many people, when they think about losing weight, see it as a Sisyphean task - 'I have to lose weight but I can't fit it into my busy schedule'."
I had to look up the word "Sisyphean" as I didn't know what that meant. It refers to a cruel king that was condemned to roll a boulder up a hill in Hades to have it roll down each time it got close to the top. I may not have known the word, but I know the concept. Very few of we overweight and obese people have not suffered from this " Sisyphean task."
A few weeks ago, I felt like that man .... just about ready to crest the hill of having one-half of my weight loss goal accomplished & then it would be downhill from there (losing the rest of the weight). Regretfully, right now, I feel like the downhill is on this side of the hill, not the other side. I'm straining to hold that "rock" in place, my feet are sliding down the hill, the rock is getter heavier and heavier. Part of me wonders if I should just let the rock go down the hill as I dive out of its way and catch my breath before I go down there & start pushing up again? Or should I keep pushing as hard as I can even though it's exhausting to do so? Maybe my recent physical pain in my back, leg and foot have more to do with my emotional exhaustion than I realized. Holding up the rock is hard work. I know some people do not believe in your psyche' contributing to your physical health, but I do. Until I wrote all of this out, I had not thought of my physical pains having anything to do with my journey to Peace.
Yes, I needed to write again. It's been too long since I had written "deep" stuff and I had thought that I had nothing more to say or nothing more that I wanted to say. I guess I was wrong. Being wrong has been a hard pill to swallow lately. I have been wrong about writing about others and not myself. It only leads to problems. Once a word is spoken (and written) you can't take it back. Then the speaker/writer has to suffer the consequences, which can be a heavy load to carry ... or a heavy load to push up the hills of Hades.
2 comments:
Good words, Rayna. We all have our "boulders" to push. That must be where the term "uphill battle" also came from! I don't think we're being punished for being "cruel" like the king, though. I think God just knows we are strong and we can handle it! Keep up the good work. Remember -- we strive for progress not perfection!
Rayna you have come so far and accomplished so much. Yes, it is a battle and like Robyn said an uphill battle. So many of us have battles and struggles in our lives that we have to deal with or choose not to deal with at this time. It is frustrating. Just think when you crest that hill you will have the willpower, strength and self-confidence to be the one on top and pushing that weight and other problems down into the ground. You should be so proud of yourself. You have done well. We have always loved you and will continue to love you no matter what happens. May God give you strength to keep on pushing.
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