My sister asked on facebook what was the personal greatest accomplishment in 2011. My first instinct was to respond that I lost 23#, all in a matter of the last few weeks of the year. Then I thought about the fact that my cholesterol and glucose are now in the normal range. Or the fact that after getting a daily dose of anti-depressant, I now feel "normal." These are all items of bragging rights. But I think that my greatest accomplishment was coming to the realization that I was a fat, unhealthy, crabby old woman who was stressed about anything and everything. And I came to the realization that I did not want to be that way any longer.
The fact that I started to make some changes in my life, even at 60 years of age, was my greatest accomplishment. There's a phrase that says "you can teach an old dog new tricks." I would add to that, "it just takes longer."
I will admit that I have always been a complainer, "It's not fair." Guess what, life is not fair. Life is not for the faint-hearted. Life is tough. Only by the grace of God have I lived this long with some of the habits and choices I have made in my life. I often see the glass as half-empty and long for a different life.
Is it fair that I have seen the beautiful turquoise waters of the Caribbean four times as many times as others in the world? Is it fair that I have set foot in 47 of 50 states when others never have the opportunity to leave their home state? Is it fair that I have a faithful and loving husband for 23 years when others might have theirs for only 23 months or never? Is it fair that with my long-time unhealthy habits and obesity that I have never suffered from a heart attack or stroke? No, life is not fair.
The word "fair" means pretty, pure, just, and equitable. That last description, equitable, sums up my philosophy of what I want life to be (i.e. balanced). I started this blog with the goal of having balance in my life. I wanted balance in my life in the aspects of physical, emotional and spiritual. It did not happen! Yes, it did get better for a while and then I spiralled out of control and out of balance again. And I responded again with my age-old adage of "It's not fair!"
An equitable life is even-keeled, no rocking or rolling of the ship. In many respects that is desirable and calming. But when a ship is calm and even-keeled, it's often not moving, not getting anywhere. The winds must fill the sails and move the ship along. Often the ship at full-sail is leaning to one side and it's moving. A person has to adjust to the leaning ship in order to not fall down. They have to grab onto the nearest object to steady themselves. If a person tries to walk alone on a moving ship, they will find themselves flailing and failing to remain upright.
Grabbing onto something offers the support a person needs to get from one point to another on the ship as its moving along. In life, as well as a sailing ship, the key thing to remember is "support." It is a foolish person on the ship that tries to walk around a moving ship without grabbing onto a railing or two. So, why do I not realize that I'm being foolish in trying to walk alone, without support?
Fair seas will have us staying in one place. If I am staying in one place, calm and cool, I am stagnant. The winds of life have to be blowing, sometimes buffeting us to move us along. Life is not about continuous balance and calmness. It is about rocking and rolling, moving us from one destination to another. Hang on, life is going to take me for a ride!
My new years resolution is to view life as a glass full instead of half empty. Exhilaration and excitement comes from the roller coaster experiences of life, not the sitting on the sidelines type of life.
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