Communication Choices

It's an interesting fact that over half (55%) of communication is perceived through body language. Thirty-eight percent is perceived through tone of voice and seven percent through the words we say. Wow! So that means that a man-of-few-words can effectively communicate their message. In other words, (pun intended), saying nothing can speak volumes.

This was quite evident at our community annual meeting on Saturday. It was a full house and most people seemed to be sitting on pins-and-needles as the meeting began. One of the opponents to our board and covenant stood right besides the board members table at the front of the room, a show of power and might. He would periodically walk in front of the table to sit for awhile as the board was trying to conduct business, disrupting the residents view of the table where the action was occurring. He said very little, but his body language told everyone he was trying to disrupt and control us. As things got a little heated, the president of the board stood up and stayed standing with his arms crossed across his chest, trying to regain control of the room full of people. One of the board members is a former school counselor, he reclined in his chair, listening without any expression on his face, just as he was trained and so "performed" on his job for many years. His reclining position and arms at his side showed vulnerability and a willingness to listen.

Another opponent spoke several times professing his opposition to the board, his tone of voice of one condescending his constituents. Like, "wake up people, you morons, don't you understand what these people (board) are doing to you." Well, that's the what I heard in his tone of voice. Speaking of tone of voice, when this opponent got up to speak for the eighth or ninth time, he started his speech, "Ever since we moved in here, it's been a nightmare."

"Moooove!" was shouted from all corners of the room. It was like the "Booooo" you hear at sporting events. I was shocked, most of these people are my parents age or older and they were in essence booing the speaker. I had to smile to myself. You just never know what people will do next.

Yes, it was interesting meeting and the opposition's candidates were not elected. However, the choices that all types of people made during this meeting were fascinating to see and hear. The choice of words they used, the choice of their tone of voice, and the body language they used.

I have had education and experiences as a counselor and manager for the past 30 years. I know that when my staff come into my office, I need to stop typing in the computer, turn by body so that I'm open to them and listen intently to what they are saying. I am good at multi-tasking so it's so easy to continue a task while I listen to them. However, I know that it's important for the speaker to think and feel that I am giving 100% of my attention and they should expect nothing less.

Yes, we all make choices on how we communicate to one another, through body language, tone of voice and words. Whether it's one-on-one or to a group... we all "speak" volumes about our attitudes, our opinions, our knowledge and our respect (or lack of respect) for one another. What are we "saying" to one another today?