Some days!

Some days just don't go well, do they? My sister, the blogger, had one of those days yesterday. I could identify the hurt in her words. I could the identify with the hurt in her words. And when it is our jobs or work surroundings or staff that we react to with hurt, it's tough. You just don't want to go back, some days.

Some days, I wonder if I can go on? I am one of those people that wake up in the middle of night and start thinking about work and then can't get back to sleep. Usually, I fall back to sleep about 4 a.m. or so and then when the alarm goes off, I wake up with the dreaded feeling of "I've already worked all night and now I have to go to work?"

Monday night I needed to set the alarm for an early meeting at 6 a.m Tuesday. Well, of course the alarm was all screwed-up so I had to depend on my self and my hubby to get up by 5 a.m. You know, that's when you wake up every hour on the hour, right? By 5:10 am, hubby says, "It's time." All, I could do was raise my tired body up to the edge of the bed and ask aloud, "Is this all there is to life?" I am not always a morning person, and that "morning person" feeling comes and goes at will. Some days, it's just not there.

Got to work at 6 a.m. and had just gotten into my office when the phone rings. My caller ID showed it was my staff office in the Emergency Room. I thought, "Boy! It sure didn't take them long to find out I'm here!" It was one of my staff telling me about a incident she had with a nursing staff from ER. It was one of those you-need-to-know-my-side-of-the-story-before-I-get-into-trouble calls. So I walked over to ER as my 6 a.m. meeting was there & the nurse in question was yelling for my attention from down the hall. Some how, I worked up a calming-reserve that I did not know was there or possible in the circumstances. I listened, I calmed her, I promised to take care of it. Good morning, Vietnam! Let the fighting begin.... fire-fighting that is.

Yep! If you're in management, you can probably identity with the feeling... of "fighting fires" some days! Putting out the fires of one problem, situation, challenge or another. I can't deny that it gets the adrenaline going, never knowing what "fire" is going to pop up next and where? But at my age, I wonder some days how much more adrenaline my body can take?

Also, yesterday at lunch, I was chatting with a few of co-workers who work in my department and one was talking about being "almost 30 years old." She said, "Remember, when we were young and we wanted to get older to do this or that? And now we don't want to age." I told them all, "Just wait, because when you reach my age, you will once again be wishing to be older so you can retire!"

In the middle of the night when I'm awake and can't sleep, I often wonder "What will I think about when I don't have work to think about in the middle of the night?" Probably I will worry about no money! Some day, that day will come. For now, I'd better get ready for work.