The saga continues. Since I last wrote this week, I lost 3 pounds one day, lost 2 more the next day, gained 1 pound the next day and now lost that pound. So now I'm at the same weight as last Saturday, however if you go by my daily weigh-ins I think I gained 7 pounds this week and lost 7 pounds. Go figure! Like I said before, sometimes you just have to laugh. :)
Yes, sometimes you just have to laugh with or at family too. The saga continues there too. First of all my six sisters and I are anticipating our annual sisters weekend (10/11-10/14), this will be our ninth annual Wild Women's Weekend. The first major decision is where are we going to stay? We found early on that we prefer to have a separate house so that we can whoop and holler and laugh loudly. Rather than get every one's fingers in the pie - which we ALL like to do- we designate two sisters to locate the place and the rest of us agree (read "keep our mouth shut"). It usually goes quite well and we get pictures and websites of the location so that we "dream" about it. Then the next decision is who's going to drive (carpool) and who's going to be in charge of food and activities. Well, it's two weeks away and we're still trying to decide who's going to drive. I think I drove six of the first seven years and I don't mind driving at all, however this year I will be flying in and have no car, so I'm trying to stay out of that decision.
Oh, I forgot, what time are we going to leave? Don't even go there, Rayna!
The other saga that our family is going through is planning my dad's 80th birthday party. We sisters thought we would keep it simple, just kids (8 of us) and our families for a total of around 30 of us, give or take an absent grand kid or step-grandchild. Since I was going up North two weeks before, I was not planning on going up for my dad's birthday, just spending a day after the sister's weekend with he and Mom. Then about two weeks ago, we all got the message from my dad, "It's my 80th birthday, I think that's a big deal and I want to celebrate it with lots of people." (read "with ALL my kids and grand kids"). In our family that means a big party! So then more discussion occurred between Mom, Dad and most of us kids. We are all so opinionated and certainly not afraid to voice our discontent if others don't agree with us. So with the first couple of rounds done, we have knocked-out some ideas and opinions. Now Dad is not feeling well so there are questions about what route do we continue on? I think Dad will rally round and knock us all out on the day of his party and be crowned champion! Oh yes, I made another plane reservation to go up for that weekend.
With both of these sagas, the e-mails have been flying over the computers. You can barely get one read before a response comes from another angle. One of my sisters has a saying she quotes that goes something like "Who took the FUN out of dysfunctional?" Family, you just got love them and laugh. Oh yes, as the oldest child, I usually throw my weight around with the best of them. I try to be witty (read "sarcastic at times"). Oops, one of my faults showing!
All-in-all, we always have a great time at our sisters weekends and I'm sure that this year will be no different. And we always have a nice, fun party for our get-together and I'm sure that Dad's party will be no different. It will be great.
Saturday, September 29, 2007
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
Let me weigh the situation
There are two schools of thought on how often to weigh yourself. One requires a daily weighing so that you can see how what you've eaten and drank affects your weight. I'm trying that one right now. The other school of thought is to weigh yourself once a week, tried that too.
This morning I referred to my ups and downs on the scale. The more I thought about it, the more I realize that I like to "push that envelope." If someone says go right, I go left. I've done that since I was a small child. I am pushing-the-envelope by seeing how much or how little I eat affects my weight. So far, I don't see enough consistency in my diet or in my weight gains or loses to make a judgement call on the results. Except to say that the scale will go down, then up, then down again. Maybe I need a new scale!
This morning I referred to my ups and downs on the scale. The more I thought about it, the more I realize that I like to "push that envelope." If someone says go right, I go left. I've done that since I was a small child. I am pushing-the-envelope by seeing how much or how little I eat affects my weight. So far, I don't see enough consistency in my diet or in my weight gains or loses to make a judgement call on the results. Except to say that the scale will go down, then up, then down again. Maybe I need a new scale!
Laugh
Sometimes, you just have to laugh!
Sometimes I enjoy watching AFV America's Funniest Videos and I laugh. Sometimes I reflex in pain at some of the videos! I laugh when I read my sister's "light-sided" blog about the antics and life of her and her family. I know laughter is good for a person, so today I just had to laugh! I know it's early and I already had a good laugh.
My weight has been all over the place the past week. I have been trying an experiment in weighing myself every day so that I can really see how my eating and drinking affect my weight. Last week I lost a pound on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. Saturday, I gained 3 pounds and Sunday I lost 2 pounds. Monday I gained 4 pounds! And no, it's not time for my "monthly." Now, I also know why they (the diet experts) tell you NOT to weigh yourself every day. It will drive you nuts!
I guess I can laugh because I know that I will lose this weight again! I can't say for certain, what all does and does not affect my weight loses and gains, but I'm getting better ideas. Alcohol is a culprit, full of empty calories. Salt is a culprit, causing me to retain fluids. Being tired and/or bored is another culprit for me. Now if I could just maintain a steady food plan, but I still go up and down, back and forth in eating well and in eating not so well. I never have been very consistent.
Sometimes, you just have to laugh... or you may cry.
Sometimes I enjoy watching AFV America's Funniest Videos and I laugh. Sometimes I reflex in pain at some of the videos! I laugh when I read my sister's "light-sided" blog about the antics and life of her and her family. I know laughter is good for a person, so today I just had to laugh! I know it's early and I already had a good laugh.
My weight has been all over the place the past week. I have been trying an experiment in weighing myself every day so that I can really see how my eating and drinking affect my weight. Last week I lost a pound on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. Saturday, I gained 3 pounds and Sunday I lost 2 pounds. Monday I gained 4 pounds! And no, it's not time for my "monthly." Now, I also know why they (the diet experts) tell you NOT to weigh yourself every day. It will drive you nuts!
I guess I can laugh because I know that I will lose this weight again! I can't say for certain, what all does and does not affect my weight loses and gains, but I'm getting better ideas. Alcohol is a culprit, full of empty calories. Salt is a culprit, causing me to retain fluids. Being tired and/or bored is another culprit for me. Now if I could just maintain a steady food plan, but I still go up and down, back and forth in eating well and in eating not so well. I never have been very consistent.
Sometimes, you just have to laugh... or you may cry.
Saturday, September 22, 2007
Path
I'm losing weight again. It's about time! :) I had hit that infamous "plateau" and I lived through it without going back to old habits and regaining the weight I lost. In one of my recent blogs, I think I called it (plateau) a catching-up phase.
I went on vacation and I did not gain any weight. Granted I may have gained some weight in the early part of my vacation, but I made the decision to stop eating those F-foods, Favorite or Forbidden, so that by the time I arrived home 10 days later I was the same weight as the day I started vacation. In the past I have lost weight FOR the vacation and then over vacation gone back to old eating habits and gained weight on vacations. In fact the scale is getting near a weight that I got-down-to just before vacation about 3 or 4 years ago. I am eager to reach that mini-goal and I am eagerly anticipating seeing numbers below that!
Vacation was good. It allowed me to slow down and relax. It allowed me to slow down the pace that my body and mind were going through. It allowed me to catch-up, but also allowed me to stop the "rat-race" for awhile.
Just other day I was thinking about the initial status of RAYNA thirteen weeks ago. I was pathetic. I weighed the most I have ever weighed. I felt every pound weighing me down - physically, emotionally and spiritually. I was full of apathy in many respects, indifferent to the damage I was doing to my body. I am still not sure why I decided to make this change, maybe because I knew I was on a downward spiral to self-destruction. Don't get me wrong, I was not suicidal in the usual sense. However I was on a downward path to the valley of death. Isn't it ironic that the four letters common in "pathetic" and "apathy" are PATH - road, way, course, track.
I have described (in previous blogs) about feeling like I was in a ditch, in all the muck and debris that gets tossed and washed from the roadways. A ditch is a valley. It's almost like I woke-up and decided I did not want to be there any longer. My first two months on the PES Project I was frantically crawling my way out of that ditch/valley. Clawing at the rocks and ground trying to get higher and away from the valley of death. I was racing against time. I was competing within myself. My whole being was frantic... emotions fighting against physical against spiritual against emotions. Round and round we would go until one part of me got "knocked-out" for the day.
Then I reached some solid ground, 10% weight loss, 2 miles a day walking. There was a plateau above the valley, I rested there. I regained some of my strength. I caught my breath. I allowed myself to enjoy the view. It was necessary.
I am moving again- walking, weighing, writing. I am climbing higher out of the valley, not crawling and clawing my way out. I feel a lot calmer. This is necessary. There are so many aspects of the journey that are necessary. I do have a destination on this path, however I also have a destination each day. What steps will I take to make my destination today? As I take each step what am I learning about myself? What aspects of myself do I want to take with me on this path? What aspects do I want to toss into the ditch?
So much to do and learn yet! I think I will just keep writing about the discoveries I make along the path. Ready for a walk? Join me on my journey!
I went on vacation and I did not gain any weight. Granted I may have gained some weight in the early part of my vacation, but I made the decision to stop eating those F-foods, Favorite or Forbidden, so that by the time I arrived home 10 days later I was the same weight as the day I started vacation. In the past I have lost weight FOR the vacation and then over vacation gone back to old eating habits and gained weight on vacations. In fact the scale is getting near a weight that I got-down-to just before vacation about 3 or 4 years ago. I am eager to reach that mini-goal and I am eagerly anticipating seeing numbers below that!
Vacation was good. It allowed me to slow down and relax. It allowed me to slow down the pace that my body and mind were going through. It allowed me to catch-up, but also allowed me to stop the "rat-race" for awhile.
Just other day I was thinking about the initial status of RAYNA thirteen weeks ago. I was pathetic. I weighed the most I have ever weighed. I felt every pound weighing me down - physically, emotionally and spiritually. I was full of apathy in many respects, indifferent to the damage I was doing to my body. I am still not sure why I decided to make this change, maybe because I knew I was on a downward spiral to self-destruction. Don't get me wrong, I was not suicidal in the usual sense. However I was on a downward path to the valley of death. Isn't it ironic that the four letters common in "pathetic" and "apathy" are PATH - road, way, course, track.
I have described (in previous blogs) about feeling like I was in a ditch, in all the muck and debris that gets tossed and washed from the roadways. A ditch is a valley. It's almost like I woke-up and decided I did not want to be there any longer. My first two months on the PES Project I was frantically crawling my way out of that ditch/valley. Clawing at the rocks and ground trying to get higher and away from the valley of death. I was racing against time. I was competing within myself. My whole being was frantic... emotions fighting against physical against spiritual against emotions. Round and round we would go until one part of me got "knocked-out" for the day.
Then I reached some solid ground, 10% weight loss, 2 miles a day walking. There was a plateau above the valley, I rested there. I regained some of my strength. I caught my breath. I allowed myself to enjoy the view. It was necessary.
I am moving again- walking, weighing, writing. I am climbing higher out of the valley, not crawling and clawing my way out. I feel a lot calmer. This is necessary. There are so many aspects of the journey that are necessary. I do have a destination on this path, however I also have a destination each day. What steps will I take to make my destination today? As I take each step what am I learning about myself? What aspects of myself do I want to take with me on this path? What aspects do I want to toss into the ditch?
So much to do and learn yet! I think I will just keep writing about the discoveries I make along the path. Ready for a walk? Join me on my journey!
Saturday, September 15, 2007
Reflections
It's Saturday and twelve weeks ago, I embarked on this PES project. What am I thinking and feeling? Where am at - physically, emotionally, and spiritually? How have I changed? Who am I? Who have I discovered are my strong supporters- who is on this journey with me? What is my destination, if any? Lot's of questions. Lots of answers.
I sit here staring at the computer screen with my hands folded over my smaller pot belly stomach. A stomach that still protrudes but is not huge. Physically, I am feeling grateful. Once in a while, as I am brushing for teeth for example, I feel a tickle on my leg and I look down and it's my two thighs brushing up against one another. Before there was no room between them, they were cemented together in fat. I am able to walk 2 miles or more each day, sweating but not exhausted. In twelve weeks, I have lost just under 12% of my body weight. The weight loss is slowing down recently, but I am catching on faster to decisions about healthier eating habits. I went on vacation and upon return I had not gained one pound! To me, that was a "miracle." I did eat some F... foods, that is Favorite and probably Forbidden foods on vacation. But I did make a decision to stop that and eat healthy foods the rest of vacation. I made choices that were healthy.
Emotionally, I am feeling good! "Good" is good. I have a picture above my computer that is picture of a lake with a small island and the mountains in the background reflected in the lake. Below the beautiful picture is the phrase - "SERENITY Peace is found not in what surrounds us, but in what we hold within." So true, yet so hard sometimes to encompass that concept. No matter what my physical surroundings, I can choose to feel peace and act peacefully.
Spiritually, I feel grace. One of the descriptions of "grace" is temporary immunity from penalties granted after a deadline has passed. Right now, I am in that grace period of trying to right myself and find myself with God as I understand him. I am feeling open and willing. Those are accomplishments for me.
So in a nutshell, my twelve weeks of the PES Project have left me with feeling grateful, good and in a grace period. Not bad, compared to the beginning where I was depressed and in a dark period of my life.
I have to say that my willingness to share this journey with others through this blog has been a PLUS to my successes and changes. Knowing that there are others out there reading my blog, has kept me accountable in so many ways. I have been honest and forthright, perhaps to the point of wincing for some of my readers, that may have wanted to shout, "TMI - too much information!" BUT, it has helped me and truly this blog is ME. I don't try to gussy-up these musings for anyone. I really appreciate those who have read this blog and sent comments now & then, it's so hopeful for me, THANK YOU!
I am far from done with this journey, so don't think that I am going to stop blogging. A destination that I do have is to lose 30% of my body weight. At that point I will go over the threshold of being OBESE to OVERWEIGHT. A lady from work commented to me yesterday, that I should not lose too much more weight as I will "look old." I had to laugh!
A strong supporter to me has been my hubby. He sometimes "kicks" me out of bed in the morning, but not very often. My body has acclimated to the morning walk and I have to admit I think my body looks forward to it! Another miracle! Anyway, hubby cooks the meals for our evening meal as he is retired and has the time. He tries very diligently to make sure I eat healthy and in appropriate portions. He encourages me to blog and doesn't complain about the time I spend on the computer, he knows this is helping to keep me on track. I am thankful for him!
Thankful is big term, a big feeling, a big thought! When I started this PES Project, I was somewhat hopeful that I would still be doing this in twelve weeks, but based on my previous track records, it was doubtful. So I decided to give it a day at a time. One day became two days, then a week, and now twelve weeks. I will continue on this PES Project, it's my decision for today. PEACE to you!
I sit here staring at the computer screen with my hands folded over my smaller pot belly stomach. A stomach that still protrudes but is not huge. Physically, I am feeling grateful. Once in a while, as I am brushing for teeth for example, I feel a tickle on my leg and I look down and it's my two thighs brushing up against one another. Before there was no room between them, they were cemented together in fat. I am able to walk 2 miles or more each day, sweating but not exhausted. In twelve weeks, I have lost just under 12% of my body weight. The weight loss is slowing down recently, but I am catching on faster to decisions about healthier eating habits. I went on vacation and upon return I had not gained one pound! To me, that was a "miracle." I did eat some F... foods, that is Favorite and probably Forbidden foods on vacation. But I did make a decision to stop that and eat healthy foods the rest of vacation. I made choices that were healthy.
Emotionally, I am feeling good! "Good" is good. I have a picture above my computer that is picture of a lake with a small island and the mountains in the background reflected in the lake. Below the beautiful picture is the phrase - "SERENITY Peace is found not in what surrounds us, but in what we hold within." So true, yet so hard sometimes to encompass that concept. No matter what my physical surroundings, I can choose to feel peace and act peacefully.
Spiritually, I feel grace. One of the descriptions of "grace" is temporary immunity from penalties granted after a deadline has passed. Right now, I am in that grace period of trying to right myself and find myself with God as I understand him. I am feeling open and willing. Those are accomplishments for me.
So in a nutshell, my twelve weeks of the PES Project have left me with feeling grateful, good and in a grace period. Not bad, compared to the beginning where I was depressed and in a dark period of my life.
I have to say that my willingness to share this journey with others through this blog has been a PLUS to my successes and changes. Knowing that there are others out there reading my blog, has kept me accountable in so many ways. I have been honest and forthright, perhaps to the point of wincing for some of my readers, that may have wanted to shout, "TMI - too much information!" BUT, it has helped me and truly this blog is ME. I don't try to gussy-up these musings for anyone. I really appreciate those who have read this blog and sent comments now & then, it's so hopeful for me, THANK YOU!
I am far from done with this journey, so don't think that I am going to stop blogging. A destination that I do have is to lose 30% of my body weight. At that point I will go over the threshold of being OBESE to OVERWEIGHT. A lady from work commented to me yesterday, that I should not lose too much more weight as I will "look old." I had to laugh!
A strong supporter to me has been my hubby. He sometimes "kicks" me out of bed in the morning, but not very often. My body has acclimated to the morning walk and I have to admit I think my body looks forward to it! Another miracle! Anyway, hubby cooks the meals for our evening meal as he is retired and has the time. He tries very diligently to make sure I eat healthy and in appropriate portions. He encourages me to blog and doesn't complain about the time I spend on the computer, he knows this is helping to keep me on track. I am thankful for him!
Thankful is big term, a big feeling, a big thought! When I started this PES Project, I was somewhat hopeful that I would still be doing this in twelve weeks, but based on my previous track records, it was doubtful. So I decided to give it a day at a time. One day became two days, then a week, and now twelve weeks. I will continue on this PES Project, it's my decision for today. PEACE to you!
Monday, September 10, 2007
Peace-Filled vacation
What a vacation! Awesome views and scenery.... I took over 1100 pictures! The new photo on this blog was taken at the Grand Canyon of Yellowstone. My hubby has been saying I need a new picture on the blog so this was the "best" of the pictures of me. It shows me having fun and being silly posing by a forked tree trunk.
I will share more about the vacation later.... glad to be home again after flights being cancelled and then threats made against our flight so we had to evacuated out of the plane at the end of the runway & then have a body search for each of us on the plane as well as our belongings. The safety and comfort of home feels good! Peace!
I will share more about the vacation later.... glad to be home again after flights being cancelled and then threats made against our flight so we had to evacuated out of the plane at the end of the runway & then have a body search for each of us on the plane as well as our belongings. The safety and comfort of home feels good! Peace!
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