Hugs!

"Consider Yourself Hugged!" That's what my calendar says this month. Some people are really a hugger. They hug everyone or they hug tight and long. There is the frontal hug, where the front of both persons is touching. There is the side hug, where the hips are touching and arms are looped around the backs. I've never been much of a hugger. Maybe it's embarrassment over my large boobs or my large body. It's sometimes uncomfortable. For some reasons, one of the most uncomfortable hugs is from my mother. The reason I say "from" is because seldom will I initiate the hug. I think I'm angry with her. I think I'm afraid of her. If you were to see my mother, you would question my being afraid. She petite, frail and humped over with osteoarthritis. For some reason, I emotionally feel that when her arms are wrapped around my back that she's going to stab me in the back. I don't trust her. And since I don't trust her, I'm angry. Holy Crapola! Little did I know that when I sat down here this morning, I'd be pouring out this stuff. That's what writing does for me.... empties my soul on paper.