Old and Independent

Recently, I have read a few magazine articles about age.... more specifically what age we feel and act. 

If I were to awake suddenly and be confronted by the question, "What age are you?"  I think I would say 47.  When I calculate what year that was, I find myself back in 1998-1999.  The year I decided it was time (after 12 years in Georgia) to move back to Wisconsin to live closer to my family.  It was an exciting time, selling stuff at our yard sale, finding land on a Wisconsin lake, selling our house in Georgia on the first day and drawing up house plans!

It felt like new beginnings AGAIN!  Those who know me are not surprised by that comment.  I have moved and changed states, homes and jobs "more times than some people change underwear."  Of course I wouldn't want to be around those smelly people, but then again, maybe I would!  Would you believe that a dream of mine is to just be a bum?  A traveling one that is! 

I have a comrade-in-arms in this dream, my husband.  He says he wants to be a "beach bum."  However, I am leaning more towards being a mountain bum.  I wonder what a person calls them?  Sasquatch?  Actually I think my husband does not want to be a bum at all, he is concerned about my retiring and not having the nice paycheck I bring home every other week. 

At my age, a person would think that I am set for life and just cruising into old age.  Wrong?  I feel trapped in my job, I count the days and weeks until I am fully vested in the employer matching funds in my 403B.  Maybe hubby is not the only one concerned about not having my paycheck. 

Restlessness is overwhelming sometimes!  To feel confined means that I don't feel independent.  I feel like I have no control over my life, yet my life is good.  Crap!  I just feel frustrated.