The List

Lists, lists, we all make lists. Things to do. Things to do before we..... leave work for the day, end of month, go on vacation, retire, kick the bucket! Yep, "kick the bucket" as in die. How did such a frivolous term get connected with death? Hubby says "Look it up, do a Google search." So I did and in 16th century England bucket had meaning of "a beam or yoke used to hang items." The beam used to hang animals by their feet for slaughter was called a bucket and animals during slaughter would struggle or spasm after death and hence "kick the bucket." How gross, huh?

Anyway, this weekend hubby and I saw the new movie, "The Bucket List." Very entertaining and thought-provoking. The basic concept of the movie is a couple of guys make a list of things they want to do before they die. Their adventures are fun and how they cross things off their list take on new meaning too. I have a friend that a few years ago started her own "bucket" list, so I excitedly called her right after the movie and encouraged her to see the movie. She reminded me that several of the things on the list were meant to be shared with me, like hot-air balloon ride. Well, we have not done that yet, I chickened-out when the opportunity came up a couple of years ago.

What does a person do when they are afraid to do the things on their own list? Does that mean I get to live longer until the fear is replaced by eagerness and actually do the hot-air balloon ride? Can't answer that as I don't know when my time to "kick" will have arrived. Hubby started his list and has five things-to-do on it. He, too, has hot-air balloon ride on his, so maybe I can talk him into going with my friend! :)

I have not been able to think of anything to put on my list yet. I did have a list quite a few years ago and I remember writing down, "write a book" and "build a house I've designed." I have lost that list, but I remember those two things and I'm glad to say that I have lived in two houses that I designed and built. I don't know if I will ever write a book and after all this blogging, I can tell you that it will be a lot more work than I originally thought. It makes that hot-air balloon ride seem like a piece-of-cake! FYI - Piece of cake originated in the Royal Air Force in the 1930's for an easy mission. Possibly evokes the easy accomplishment of swallowing a slice of dessert.

What's on your list? Gotta run and get mine started.

Doing it again!

We saw some neighbors tonight and I was greeted by one of them, "Rayna, you haven't written in the new year!" Yes, I took a break. Took a break from blogging, took a break from walking, took a break from thinking. After a New Years trip up North, I came back home to "hibernate" and cuddle in my blanket while it was dark and cold outside. I caught up on some reading and just plain relaxed.

Since I changed my work hours to 7 am - 4 pm, I have been using the time that I previously would walk to be getting ready for work. The after-work walking just did not cut-it for me, I'm too lazy by the end of the day. So it became easier and easier to just skip the walking. The plus side is that my feet, legs and back did not hurt any longer. However, I was surprised to find myself waking earlier than needed (to get to work) and thinking about walking, I missed it! Lo & behold, what mind-boggling concept for me to go through.... missing a daily walk!

Sunday, I went for a leisurely walk and Monday got up at 5:15 am and did my mile and a half. Today, too! I figured that since I was walking, I might as well start blogging again. Let the thoughts pour on out on the computer! We'll see what happens.

The Rest of the Story

Paul Harvey used to (maybe still does) have a radio show that he would tell about a person and then leave you hanging for disclosure of the person while a commercial was aired. Then he'd come back on and say something like "And now for the rest of the story."

Hubby & I made a quick trip to The Island yesterday, South Padre Island that is. We were not able to drive onto the beach as usual as we took the smaller, lower-to-the ground car, so parked and walked out to the beach. Right in front of us were two red roses laying on the beach. One of the roses was in good shape (see picture) and other was rather mangled. Hubby said exactly what I was thinking, "I wonder what the story is behind these roses laying here?"

It makes a person wonder, right? I have a vivid imagination and these kind of scene/scenarios really get my juices a-flowing! Who left them? Where did they leave them? Was there a lover's quarrel? How long had they been laying there? Questions, questions and no answers except what we could imagine. As we walked down the beach, we tossed out ideas and thoughts. I thought maybe it was a candid-camera sort of stunt to see what people would do with two red roses laying on the beach. Upon returning to that spot after our walk, the rose pictured above was gone and the "mangled" one was left. Now it got our interest.... Did the waves wash the other one away? Did someone pick it up? Regretfully, we will never know the rest of the story.

However it got me thinking about my actions recently. My anger came out sideways and I basically gave someone a black, wilted "rose." They were not expecting it (my anger) and I know they were questioning what was the "rest of the story" behind my actions and words. What kind of roses do we give people? Do we give a beautiful red rose that makes them wonder with pleasure what they did to deserve it? Or do we give a mangled black rose that makes them wonder with anxiety what they did to deserve it?

We make the choice of what kind of rose we will leave for people to find. Each and every day, we make choices. Too bad, that we're human and sometimes our choices are not the best. I need to remember the "red rose on the beach" and think about what I'm giving or leaving to people before I speak and act. What will they find after I've left?

Life is a Dance

Last night I finished reading a novel by Kris Radish, Annie Freeman's Fabulous Traveling Funeral. The premise of the novel is that Annie Freeman has died young from cancer and her gift to her girlfriends is a trip to some of the places that meant something to her. While at each place, her friends (some that know each other only by name and what they've heard from Annie) are to spread some of Annie's cremated ashes. It's a story about bringing together five grieving friends and the lessons they learn about living. An oft-quoted phrase appears in this novel several times.... They say funerals are for the living.

It got me thinking about what friends I would send on my "traveling funeral" and where I would have them go. I reflected on my relationships with other women and how some women that meant a lot to me at some point in my life have disappeared. No more Christmas cards from them, not even sure where they are at or even if they are alive. That saddened me. Other friends that I know where they live, I have not kept in much contact. That saddened me. Yes, I can't forget my birth sisters that are also my friends.

"My sister's love is very special, one I'll treasure through the years. We've played and laughed together and ofttimes shed many tears, but through life's maze of problems, God placed a bond of love within to unite our hearts in wisdom changing sisters into friends." - Judy Meggers

The women in the novel share much about themselves and learn much from the others. They all realize that in the hustle and bustle of life, they have let a part of themselves die. Whether the part that died is their time for themselves, creativity, relationships with others or something or someone else; they all left the traveling funeral with plans to reclaim ME!

The other night I went to bed thinking about this story. I dreamed about dancing. I was being told to "Dance!" and I was dancing. I awoke in the middle of the night to reflect on the dream and thought that dancing is so much like life. There are all types of dances.... fast, slow, sensual, exotic, funny.... you name it. Just as there are all types of lives and ways to live our lives. In dancing and in life, we dance solo or with a partner or in a group. In reflecting on this dance equals life theme, I realized that if someone were to tell me to "Live, Rayna, live!" I may not listen or I'd exclaim, "I'm am living." However, if someone were to tell me, "Dance, Rayna, dance!" I would start moving to the music in my head or the music in my heart.

I went back to sleep and then got early yesterday and continued to read the book. As I was on the second page of the next chapter, a character in the novel, Balinda, is writing in a notebook about herself and then she writes what she thinks Annie, the dead friend, would write back to her. ".... This funeral, as you now know is about learning how to dance. Dance, Balinda. Just dance." I dropped the book and dropped my jaw! Here was the theme of my dream written into this novel. Talk about feeling like someone was trying to get a point across to me!

Just the other day, I questioned, "What do I deserve at this point in my life?" I deserve to dance! I deserve to live! I need to turn up the volume of the music that is in my heart. I need to dance with others and by myself. I need to live. I need to be thankful for life.

Peace be within you!

Joy

Rejoice! Rejoice: To feel or be joyful. To fill with joy, gladden.

Rejoice is a word we associate with Christmas, probably because of time-honored Christian hymns. The word joy is not a common word in today's vocabulary. It means A condition or feeling of high pleasure or delight. Do I experience joy? Do I ever want to say "Rejoice!" Sometimes, but truthfully, seldom do I say or feel it.

Think of the faces of children around this country as they open their gifts from Santa Claus, the surprise at getting something they asked for or maybe something they wanted and didn't expect Santa to bring. The joy is evident on their faces, the huge smiles and hollering whoops of excitement. It can not help but to bring a smile to our faces as we witness or have memories of the rejoicing.

"For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on
his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,
Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace." Isaiah 9:6

The above verses are on my calender for today. It's not verses from Luke as we usually read in correlation with the Christmas story. It is the prediction of the what the Saviour, Jesus Christ would bring to the world. Wonderful counseling, mightiness, everlasting and peace. In those days as now, there was strife and wars in the world and the Prince of Peace was expected, and hoped for, to bring peace to the world. Peace: An absence of war and other hostilities; a freedom from quarrels and disagreement.

Did it happen? Did peace occur, before or after his death? No. Not if we consider peace as being an absence of war and strife. However, if we consider another meaning of peace - Inner contentment; calm; serenity - then Jesus Christ has brought peace to the world of believers! Some would say that the only way to peace is believing and having faith in Jesus Christ.

Another word similar to rejoice is Hallelujah! A word used to express praise or joy. A word that is often associated with Easter and the rising of Christ from death. Words of joy associated with Christ's birth and His arising from death, a re-birth in a sense. A birth of a child brings joyful moments. a culmination of months waiting and preparing for a long-anticipated event. The birth of Christ was a culmination of waiting and preparing for the saviour of the world.

As we age, we sometimes lose the wonder of opening up gifts on Christmas morning. We leave hints and lists for spouses to find and we don't always have that many presents under the tree as we realize that we have so many things already. I knew about all of the gifts for me under the tree except for one. I knew where hubby bought it, but could not think of what it would be other than an article of clothing. So I was surprised to open up the present to reveal a lovely cashmere cardigan sweater. Cashmere has a softness and richness beyond compare. I have been longing to buy a cashmere sweater for quite a while, but could never quite justify spending the extra money. Hubby said, "You deserve a cashmere sweater at this time in your life."

How many of us have the feeling of the softness and richness of Jesus Christ's love and the promise of peace that he makes to us in celebrating His birth and re-birth? What do I deserve at this time of my life?

Dedication

There's an old song that has a lyric, "Dedicated to the one I love."

Last night I came home from work and on the counter was a small catalog showcasing the jewelry and art of the craftsman I mentioned in Sunday's blog, the one who makes the peace ornament. I said to hubby, "You didn't go and get that ornament did you?" He gave me a big hug and somewhat sheepishly said, "Yes, I went there before I read your blog." (I had meant to throw away the ad after I wrote my blog, but left it by the computer.) My heart melted. Last night, I opened that present under the tree and hung that lovely peace ornament on my Christmas tree and vowed to myself that every time I see that I will remember the love of my hubby.

He does not get enough credit in my blogs for his support and unconditional love. Often, I will excitedly share with him the email or comment that someone has written on or about my blog. He has to remind me, "I support you" or "I'm proud of you." It's true, I don't give him enough credit for his love, support and pride in what I've accomplished and what I'm trying to do. He has loved me through all these years of thick and thin, more thick than ever "thin."

We joke about our differences. We have his-and-her of a lot of things.... peanut butter, bread, ice cream, political parties. Yet there is a lot we agree on, like traveling, sunshine, enjoying friendships, reading, and our love for each other. I have been very fortunate to have him in my life for many years and I look forward to our future together. Hubby, this blog is for you! Peace!

Finding Peace?

For many years I have liked the word peace. In the Seventies, "peace" was designated as a pie-shaped symbol or the common two-fingered V-shaped hand gesture. Back then we were speaking of world peace or a world without the Vietnam War. As the years went by and the "Peace, brother" movement died, I still liked the word peace. Perhaps because I wanted peace in my life. About ten or more years ago, I started thinking of peace as being a balance in my life. I also discovered that the phonetic spelling of the word peace is pes, which are the first letters of words physical, emotional and spiritual.

I collect lions which is also a throwback to the Seventies and the popularity of astrology. I am a Leo and that got me started on collecting lions. Hubby says that I can "spot a lion a mile away," in reference to my ability to spot lions while shopping. I have become very discerning about my lion purchases after my collection grew to over 200 lions. Unusual and rare materials that have been formed into a lion are the objects that I buy now. My last lion was one made of wire and glass beads.

A collection of another type is not as large as my lion collection, however I can spot one quite easily. These items have the word peace on them. In fact as I sit typing this, above my computer is a large picture of Goose Island in St. Mary's Lake in Glacier National Park. I finally figured out where the picture was taken and was fortunate to see the same view on our trip this fall. In fact the picture of hubby and I in our Christmas letter shows us by this lake. To get back to the picture, the caption is: "Serenity - Peace is found not in what surrounds us, but in what we hold within."

Yes, there is truth to that statement. Although we can be at peace in surroundings like Glacier National Park, we will not necessarily find peace there. A person can have the most beautiful surroundings, the most money, the skinniest body and yet not find peace nor feel peace.

I was reminded of that today as I read through the Sunday paper. An advertisement grabbed my attention as a local craftsman has a Peace Ornament for sale. It's beautiful and would add to my growing collection of "peace" ornaments on my Christmas tree or my wall of "peace" objects (commonly crosses). "Priced at $95 in sterling silver...." it is affordable for a working woman such as myself. I tore out the ad with plans to strategically place it in hubby's view. It hit me.... Will one more "peace" object bring me any more peace? I can be surrounded by "peace" objects, yet I will not find peace. The 95 dollars peace ornament nor the 95 cents peace ornament will not find me the peace I want and desire. Yes, I have tried to find peace in many places and things..... homes, jobs, food, activities, hobbies, trips, drink, relationships.... you name it, I may have tried to find peace or serenity in it! Where do I go from here?

In church we share the greeting, "Peace be with you." Again, we seem to be missing the point. We ask for peace to surround, to be with our pew-mates, yet should we not be declaring, "Peace be within you"?