LOVE

LOVE - the "other" four-letter word. The best four-letter word. The BEST word! Love encompasses so much, doesn't it? In the my old-faithful dictionary, love is a noun, but I prefer to think of it as a "verb." A verb expresses action. Love is not always a state of being, it's a state of doing, acting, moving. There's an old church/camp song that has been running through my mind a lot lately, "They will know we are Christians by our love."

As irritating as "ear worms" are, this song has been a constant reminder of my renewal. I am reminded that everywhere and every time, I have the opportunity to show God's love through my actions and words. It's an awesome responsibility. It's an awesome reward.

I can not begin to describe how much better I feel emotionally since I allowed and made the choice to release my anger and control of my world and let God walk with me on my life's journey. I had a very-hardened heart, a heart of stone. There was no way that love could "beat" in a heart of stone. A couple of weeks ago, I wrote about the boulders/rocks in my life that I need to sacrifice. Some of them are still there, but I'm much more willing to leave them on my journey's path and move forward... in love.

Life is a Dance

Last night I finished reading a novel by Kris Radish, Annie Freeman's Fabulous Traveling Funeral. The premise of the novel is that Annie Freeman has died young from cancer and her gift to her girlfriends is a trip to some of the places that meant something to her. While at each place, her friends (some that know each other only by name and what they've heard from Annie) are to spread some of Annie's cremated ashes. It's a story about bringing together five grieving friends and the lessons they learn about living. An oft-quoted phrase appears in this novel several times.... They say funerals are for the living.

It got me thinking about what friends I would send on my "traveling funeral" and where I would have them go. I reflected on my relationships with other women and how some women that meant a lot to me at some point in my life have disappeared. No more Christmas cards from them, not even sure where they are at or even if they are alive. That saddened me. Other friends that I know where they live, I have not kept in much contact. That saddened me. Yes, I can't forget my birth sisters that are also my friends.

"My sister's love is very special, one I'll treasure through the years. We've played and laughed together and ofttimes shed many tears, but through life's maze of problems, God placed a bond of love within to unite our hearts in wisdom changing sisters into friends." - Judy Meggers

The women in the novel share much about themselves and learn much from the others. They all realize that in the hustle and bustle of life, they have let a part of themselves die. Whether the part that died is their time for themselves, creativity, relationships with others or something or someone else; they all left the traveling funeral with plans to reclaim ME!

The other night I went to bed thinking about this story. I dreamed about dancing. I was being told to "Dance!" and I was dancing. I awoke in the middle of the night to reflect on the dream and thought that dancing is so much like life. There are all types of dances.... fast, slow, sensual, exotic, funny.... you name it. Just as there are all types of lives and ways to live our lives. In dancing and in life, we dance solo or with a partner or in a group. In reflecting on this dance equals life theme, I realized that if someone were to tell me to "Live, Rayna, live!" I may not listen or I'd exclaim, "I'm am living." However, if someone were to tell me, "Dance, Rayna, dance!" I would start moving to the music in my head or the music in my heart.

I went back to sleep and then got early yesterday and continued to read the book. As I was on the second page of the next chapter, a character in the novel, Balinda, is writing in a notebook about herself and then she writes what she thinks Annie, the dead friend, would write back to her. ".... This funeral, as you now know is about learning how to dance. Dance, Balinda. Just dance." I dropped the book and dropped my jaw! Here was the theme of my dream written into this novel. Talk about feeling like someone was trying to get a point across to me!

Just the other day, I questioned, "What do I deserve at this point in my life?" I deserve to dance! I deserve to live! I need to turn up the volume of the music that is in my heart. I need to dance with others and by myself. I need to live. I need to be thankful for life.

Peace be within you!