Yesterday was Good Friday, a day we Christians remember the death of Jesus Christ on the cross. His death and resurrection was a gift of forgiveness of our sins. Jesus paid the ultimate price for us.
Forgiveness is not easy.
As I pondered the Good Friday message, I realized that I need to give forgiveness to others. It really hit me that there are four aspects to forgiveness. First of all, I recognize and acknowledge that I need forgiveness for my "sins," including my omissions of trust, respect and love. But the path to the point of giving forgiveness also means that secondly, I have to want forgiveness. I think most people recognize that they need forgiveness. Many people, including myself, acknowledge that need but are often unlikely to admit that we want forgiveness. We may beat ourselves up because we are such sinful people to "need forgiveness." That we turn away from the gift of forgiveness...."I don't want forgiveness!" Let me sit in my pity pot and continue to exclaim what a sinful person I am. Therefore, you can not love me!
Wanting is a desire. If I desire forgiveness and then accept it, then I know that I will change. Do I really want to change? If I do need and want forgiveness, then the next step is accepting forgiveness. Again, if I accept this gift, I will need to step out of my pity pot and change my actions. Hmmm?
No matter what anyone says, if you accept a "gift" from anyone, you are connected with that person/being. Independent Rayna being connected to anyone, what's my world coming to? If I am able to follow through on this forgiveness journey, then I know that I will next be able to offer forgiveness to others. Again, that will mean connecting with others.
Showing posts with label Jesus Christ. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jesus Christ. Show all posts
Saturday, April 19, 2014
Monday, March 8, 2010
Just a Piece of Bread
Jesus feed the Five Thousand. Who hasn't heard or read that Bible story? Let me refresh your memory, from the book of Matthew.
After John the Baptist is beheaded, Jesus heard what had happened; he withdrew by boat privately to a solitary place. Hearing of this, the crowds followed him on foot from the towns. When Jesus landed and saw a large crowd, he had compassion on them and healed their sick. As evening approached, the disciples came to him and said, "This is a remote place, and it's already getting late. Send the crowds away, so they can go to the village and buy themselves some food."
Jesus replied, "They do not need to go away. You give them something to eat."
"We have here only five loaves of bread and two fish," they answered. "Bring them here to me," he said. And he directed the people to sit down on the grass. Taking the five loaves and the two fish and looking up to heaven, he gave thanks and broke the
loaves. Then he gave them to the disciples, and the disciples gave them to the people. They all ate and were satisfied, and the disciples picked up twelve basketfuls of broken pieces that were left over. Matthew 14: 13-20Jesus was grieving the loss of John, yet Jesus did not ignore the people in the crowds. He "had compassion" and he use his Heavenly Gift and "healed their sick." Then he wanted the crowds to stay and instructed the disciples to "give them something to eat." They told Jesus there were "five loaves of bread and two fish." Can we identify with the disciples? How many times have we thought or said, "I only have one night a week that I'm not busy. I only have fifty dollars left after the bills are paid. I only have one talent and that's such and such."
Don't we often feel like the disciples did? There's not enough. It's not good enough.
Don't we often feel like the person in the crowd that gave up their loaf of bread or their fish? "It's mine, I worked hard for this and now you want me to share with all these people?"
Don't we often forget to do as Jesus did, "looking up to heaven, he gave thanks and broke the loaves." There are two important messages in that verse. The first being gratitude and recognizing from where our gifts come. The second message is that even Jesus broke the loaves. He did not expect that one person would need the whole loaf, he shared broken pieces of the bread and fish and the crowd was satisfied.
Don't we often think we have to give so much, like a whole loaf to God and his community? Don't we forget that a piece of bread can satisfy us? Don't we forget that a piece of bread that we share with our church and community is so much better than hoarding the whole loaf for ourselves? Our Lord doesn't need our loaves of bread or fish; He wants us to share our pieces of bread or fish. Our church, our community is not asking for ALL of our time, talents and treasures. Just a piece from me, just a piece from you, and you, plus you. It all adds up to feed five thousand, think about it.
Sunday, December 21, 2008
JOY
JOY!
It's a word that we don't use very often in our everyday language. We use the word joy or rejoice often in speaking and singing about Christmas and Easter. Christmas, a time to celebrate Jesus the Messiah's birth and Easter, a time to celebrate Jesus the Christ's resurrection. Joy is not just a word to describe birth or re-birth, it's a word to describe our lives everyday. If we choose to do so. How many of us can say that we live our lives joyfully? It doesn't have to mean giddy, smiley, thrilling or high all the time? But is that not what we often think of when we hear "joy" (i.e. joy ride)?
Joy means "a condition or feeling of high pleasure or delight; happiness; gladness; An expression of manifestation of such feeling." How many of us can say that we live our lives everyday with happiness and gladness? Oh, we all have periods or maybe just moments of joy throughout our day, week, month, or year. Joy is not just a gift of feeling delight, it's an action, an expression of such feeling. How many of our family, friends or co-workers would say about us, "He/She is a delight to be around."?
Living a life of joy does not mean that we will not face obstacles and challenges. However, can we take those obstacles and challenges and convert them into opportunities to share our joy? Sharing is an action, a giving of ourselves... our time, talents and treasures. Why not try to live your life "joyfully" this Christmas? Maybe even into next year? A Joyous Christmas to all!
It's a word that we don't use very often in our everyday language. We use the word joy or rejoice often in speaking and singing about Christmas and Easter. Christmas, a time to celebrate Jesus the Messiah's birth and Easter, a time to celebrate Jesus the Christ's resurrection. Joy is not just a word to describe birth or re-birth, it's a word to describe our lives everyday. If we choose to do so. How many of us can say that we live our lives joyfully? It doesn't have to mean giddy, smiley, thrilling or high all the time? But is that not what we often think of when we hear "joy" (i.e. joy ride)?
Joy means "a condition or feeling of high pleasure or delight; happiness; gladness; An expression of manifestation of such feeling." How many of us can say that we live our lives everyday with happiness and gladness? Oh, we all have periods or maybe just moments of joy throughout our day, week, month, or year. Joy is not just a gift of feeling delight, it's an action, an expression of such feeling. How many of our family, friends or co-workers would say about us, "He/She is a delight to be around."?
Living a life of joy does not mean that we will not face obstacles and challenges. However, can we take those obstacles and challenges and convert them into opportunities to share our joy? Sharing is an action, a giving of ourselves... our time, talents and treasures. Why not try to live your life "joyfully" this Christmas? Maybe even into next year? A Joyous Christmas to all!
Sunday, April 20, 2008
Though I Walk Through the Valley...
For the past seven years, I have been in a valley. The valley has a narrow bottom with just enough room for a rocky path. I had been crawling on my hands and knees, bruising and cutting them on the rocks as I travel along the path. The scars had developed into callouses. I kept my head down much of the time, feeling beaten. My back hurt from trying to lift my head to feel the sunshine and my shoulders formed into a drooping hunch. It's been hard to see very far in front of me, much less being able to see the top of hills that surround the valley.
I even moved a long ways away and built a new shelter in the valley, and yet I was still in the same valley, littered with stone and rocks that made my path anything but smooth. Due to my crawling on these rocks day in and day out, I became familiar with them. The rocks had names, Stubbornness, Anger, Control, Resentment, Intelligence, Forgetfulness, Ignorance, Carelessness and Envy. I knew them by name, yet I hated them and didn't want to recognize them. Not only were these rocks creating callouses on my hands and feet, my heart was becoming calloused, hardened and unmoving. The hardening of the heart was hurting my partner in the valley, my husband. We walked on the same path in that valley, but I found myself moving further and further away.
Yes, there were brief moments of laughter and fun with hubby, family and friends. And occasionally I would feel the warmth from the sun which reminded me of God's love. I knew there was another being in the valley, the Son of God, Jesus Christ. But it had been so long since I even had a glimpse of him that I was not sure He still even existed, at least not for me.
About nine months ago, I started to make some changes in my daily walks on the path. I tried to get off the path into the green grass and take better care of myself. I crawled faster and got quite good at speed-crawling. But it was not enough, I felt lonely even amongst all the people I knew were my family and friends. Something, someone was missing. I knew the answer was a relationship with Jesus Christ. But where was he? I had not prayed in months. I had not called out to the Lord in months. How could I expect God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit to even know I was here in the valley? I wanted to search and find my "spirituality" but I was embarrassed. So I kept plodding along, hurt and dejected.
One day not too many weeks ago, an angel appeared next to me on the path, I had seen her around my work place and casually talked about the green parks that dotted the valley. She asked me, "How do you like living in the valley?" Typical me, I said, "Oh, it's fine." I was not really sure if I meant it or not. I think I mentioned wanting to develop some friendships (relationships) with other women. Of course, it was much easier to think about developing new relationships with people that could not see my callouses on my feet, hands and heart, than it was to think about renewing or rejuvenating old relationships, including the one with my husband, family and friends.
Before, I knew it she was telling me about a Christian retreat, The Walk to Emmaus. And before I knew it, I was signed up. Then panic set in! What have I done? Would I have to meet Jesus? Would I have to change my life? As much as I "hated" that rocky path, it was familiar and I had gotten used to it. What was I going to do?
I was taken to an unfamiliar part of the valley on Thursday night and by Friday morning in my anger and controlling ways, I was physically lost. Another angel came to lead me out of the thickets and back to the rest of the sheep. Yes we were like sheep, in groups, I resented that! I'm a "human being" even if I am crawling on all fours like a sheep. I started to cry and then the angel said something about me being "lost." I said or almost shouted, "I'm lost in more ways than one!" That admission got me crying and crying. Yes, that statement was the admission ticket to a private meeting with Jesus. Little did I know that then.
I learned a lot that day, but the first thing I learned was that my priorities were out of balance. Me out of balance, when I've been spouting-off (in this blog) about balance and peace? More tears, more tears! I was starting to flood the valley with the tears. I spent some time with ministers and laypersons getting some answers. That night I knew I had to make a choice, re-connect with Jesus or forget it. I used my tear-stained admission ticket to meet with Jesus. It was scary, but He quickly comforted me when I told him my dilemma. His answer was, "I will not fail you. I will not fail you." It was sure-fire, safe venture! How could I refuse? I asked Him to walk beside me, carry me, push me, whatever He needed for me. I wanted to connect with Him, I wanted Him in my life.
The next day, Saturday, during Holy Communion, we were asked that each of us sacrifice (give-up) one of our characteristics/values that we needed to live without. Sacrifice, I had that down pat, as I had a lot of rocks as garbage for a SACRIFICE....
Stubbornness
Anger
Control
Resentment
Intelligence
Forgetfulness
Ignorance
Carelessness
Envy
So that day, I cheated (already) and told Jesus he could have two rocks! I gave him anger and control. That felt so good, and I cried some more. I learned. I cried. I felt love. I cried. I got off my knees and started to walk upright, my knees gave out a couple of times (truthfully) and I knew this walking upright with the Lord would take some support from others. I cried. I sang praises and I started to raise my arms to Jesus. I didn't get my arms much higher than chest high, but it's a start.
I felt love right up to the end of the third day (today) when I thought that I cried the Rio Grande River full of tears and then we were handed letters from family and friends. Oh my God! More crying. God is so gracious and loving to have placed so many wonderful people in my life. I don't deserve it.
Most of this story (except for last paragraph) is what went through my mind last night as a way to describe my journey for the past years and my reconciliation Jesus Christ. I know that I am loved by husband, parents, family, friends, angels, and most importantly my Lord. Praise the Lord. PEACE! and this time I feel it!
I even moved a long ways away and built a new shelter in the valley, and yet I was still in the same valley, littered with stone and rocks that made my path anything but smooth. Due to my crawling on these rocks day in and day out, I became familiar with them. The rocks had names, Stubbornness, Anger, Control, Resentment, Intelligence, Forgetfulness, Ignorance, Carelessness and Envy. I knew them by name, yet I hated them and didn't want to recognize them. Not only were these rocks creating callouses on my hands and feet, my heart was becoming calloused, hardened and unmoving. The hardening of the heart was hurting my partner in the valley, my husband. We walked on the same path in that valley, but I found myself moving further and further away.
Yes, there were brief moments of laughter and fun with hubby, family and friends. And occasionally I would feel the warmth from the sun which reminded me of God's love. I knew there was another being in the valley, the Son of God, Jesus Christ. But it had been so long since I even had a glimpse of him that I was not sure He still even existed, at least not for me.
About nine months ago, I started to make some changes in my daily walks on the path. I tried to get off the path into the green grass and take better care of myself. I crawled faster and got quite good at speed-crawling. But it was not enough, I felt lonely even amongst all the people I knew were my family and friends. Something, someone was missing. I knew the answer was a relationship with Jesus Christ. But where was he? I had not prayed in months. I had not called out to the Lord in months. How could I expect God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit to even know I was here in the valley? I wanted to search and find my "spirituality" but I was embarrassed. So I kept plodding along, hurt and dejected.
One day not too many weeks ago, an angel appeared next to me on the path, I had seen her around my work place and casually talked about the green parks that dotted the valley. She asked me, "How do you like living in the valley?" Typical me, I said, "Oh, it's fine." I was not really sure if I meant it or not. I think I mentioned wanting to develop some friendships (relationships) with other women. Of course, it was much easier to think about developing new relationships with people that could not see my callouses on my feet, hands and heart, than it was to think about renewing or rejuvenating old relationships, including the one with my husband, family and friends.
Before, I knew it she was telling me about a Christian retreat, The Walk to Emmaus. And before I knew it, I was signed up. Then panic set in! What have I done? Would I have to meet Jesus? Would I have to change my life? As much as I "hated" that rocky path, it was familiar and I had gotten used to it. What was I going to do?
I was taken to an unfamiliar part of the valley on Thursday night and by Friday morning in my anger and controlling ways, I was physically lost. Another angel came to lead me out of the thickets and back to the rest of the sheep. Yes we were like sheep, in groups, I resented that! I'm a "human being" even if I am crawling on all fours like a sheep. I started to cry and then the angel said something about me being "lost." I said or almost shouted, "I'm lost in more ways than one!" That admission got me crying and crying. Yes, that statement was the admission ticket to a private meeting with Jesus. Little did I know that then.
I learned a lot that day, but the first thing I learned was that my priorities were out of balance. Me out of balance, when I've been spouting-off (in this blog) about balance and peace? More tears, more tears! I was starting to flood the valley with the tears. I spent some time with ministers and laypersons getting some answers. That night I knew I had to make a choice, re-connect with Jesus or forget it. I used my tear-stained admission ticket to meet with Jesus. It was scary, but He quickly comforted me when I told him my dilemma. His answer was, "I will not fail you. I will not fail you." It was sure-fire, safe venture! How could I refuse? I asked Him to walk beside me, carry me, push me, whatever He needed for me. I wanted to connect with Him, I wanted Him in my life.
The next day, Saturday, during Holy Communion, we were asked that each of us sacrifice (give-up) one of our characteristics/values that we needed to live without. Sacrifice, I had that down pat, as I had a lot of rocks as garbage for a SACRIFICE....
Stubbornness
Anger
Control
Resentment
Intelligence
Forgetfulness
Ignorance
Carelessness
Envy
So that day, I cheated (already) and told Jesus he could have two rocks! I gave him anger and control. That felt so good, and I cried some more. I learned. I cried. I felt love. I cried. I got off my knees and started to walk upright, my knees gave out a couple of times (truthfully) and I knew this walking upright with the Lord would take some support from others. I cried. I sang praises and I started to raise my arms to Jesus. I didn't get my arms much higher than chest high, but it's a start.
I felt love right up to the end of the third day (today) when I thought that I cried the Rio Grande River full of tears and then we were handed letters from family and friends. Oh my God! More crying. God is so gracious and loving to have placed so many wonderful people in my life. I don't deserve it.
Most of this story (except for last paragraph) is what went through my mind last night as a way to describe my journey for the past years and my reconciliation Jesus Christ. I know that I am loved by husband, parents, family, friends, angels, and most importantly my Lord. Praise the Lord. PEACE! and this time I feel it!
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