Yesterday, I ended my blog with, "I didn't know I could do it."

When I started this project, I was taking a leap of faith that I would see some success. I was not sure I would make it a week, much less a month. I was taking it a day at a time, which is well and good in many respects.

I read an magazine article last night that got me thinking. A person has to find their vision. "Nothing really big, bold, or beautiful was ever created in a country, a company, in a family, or in a life without a clear picture of what it would look like." The author, life coach Gail Blanke goes on to tell the story that Walt Disney had a vision of what Walt Disney World in Florida would be like and "he had the workers built the castle first as the castle was where the magic would be and Disney seemed to think that if the designers, the engineers, and the workers had the castle to look at for inspiration, they could do all the hard stuff it would take to bring the Magic Kingdom to life."

1. Answer this question: "If absolutely anything were possible, what would I love to happen in my life, my work, my relationships?" I have a weight on the scale in mind. I have a fitter, trimmer me in mind. I have habits of a healthy person in mind. I have a peace-filled, balanced person in mind. That is my vision.
2. Build the castle: Imagine what I feel like in my "castle," what I would be doing, who would be with me. I have written down the details, even the shouts of "I did it!" and the big hug from hubby.
3. Set the date: Write down the exact day, month, and year when I will have brought my vision to life. My date is April 28, 2008.
4. Commit: "Reaching your castle is not something you're just thinking about. Make a detailed plan and follow it."

The article goes on to describe how "you'll need a detailed plan to reach your goal." The "commitment" part. Here's a method the author uses:

1. Take a blank piece of ruled paper. On the top line write your vision. Put a deadline date next to it. On the bottom line, write today's date.
2. Now ask yourself these questions: "What would have happened just before I reached my goal? What did I do right before I got there?" Write the answers on the second line, below your vision.
3. Now proceed line by line down the page, asking yourself, "And what would have happened right before that to make it possible?" Fill in the answers as you go along and keep writing until you reach today's date. Don't be tempted to start at the bottom and work your way up. It's much harder and less productive.
4. Repeat the same exercise using different answers. This will will give you more than one path to take and different options to pursue if there's a bump in the road.
5. This is your map, your plan. Follow it with boldness, joy and the anticipation that you will succeed.

I thought these steps are worthwhile repeating to myself and whoever reads this blog. It's a combination of being a visionary and yet taking it a day at a time, a step at a time.

In another magazine, I read what Bob Greene, author of The Best Life Diet has to say this: "Work toward leading a fulfilled life today. That will naturally make you want to be healthy. .... So do a little self-discovery. Look at what brings you joy and what isn't going so well. Have a life plan as opposed to a weight plan. Next figure out how active you're willing to be, and how much time you can devote to exercise. Then balance the calories - but don't deprive yourself. I've never found anyone who should be eating fewer than 1500 calories. Finally, set realistic goals, or you're bound to fail. Adjust your thinking about what's healthy for you, given your genetics. Some of the healthiest people on the planet are heavier than what we claim is ideal. Being realistic is not only important, it's empowering."

AMEN! I know that the vision/castle that I have of my weight on the scale would totally freak out some people. "Oh, my God, she weighs that much?!" Even though that weight will still be considered "overweight" in many standards, it my vision. It's my reality. I don't even remember now who in my past told me, "Perception is reality, but I have used that term many times. The way you perceive things is your reality. The way I perceive the same thing is my reality. We can't change or take away the perceptions that we each have.

I need to remember it's MY castle and it belongs to no one else! They may share the enjoying of my castle, the peace-filled, healthier me. They may share in my journey to my castle.

Five for Five

In honor of my five weeks anniversary of this PES (Peace) Project, I did five laps today in my walk! That's two and half miles and I did it in just under 50 minutes. I'm elated! I'm also sweating. There have been a day or so lately that I felt ready and able to go that extra lap, but the time clock at work beckoned. Today being Saturday, I was ready and willing to give it a go. I did it! Let the child in me celebrate!

Let me take a moment to compose myself, after writing that last sentence, I started to cry. These are tears of gratitude that my body allowed me to go two and half miles at one time, that it did not conk out on me. I have abused my body by too much eating and drinking for years, and too little exercise. Complacency.

I didn't know I could do it!

Willing

"I'm willing to believe
There's hope for me"

I like that ditty I made up this morning. The acronym HOW = Honest, Open and Willing, I have mentioned before and this morning I thought of that word, "willing."

This morning I got up an hour earlier as I had an early morning work function. Last night, hubby reminded me, or I should say stated, "You're going to walk tomorrow. You already missed one day this week." I forgot I gave him permission to keep me in line! Anyway, I went to bed early and set my alarm for an hour earlier. Woke up before the alarm and off I went walking, thankfully, it's no darker here at 4:55 than it is at 5:55. I am willing to do this because I believe that walking exercises my muscles & makes them stronger. Walking boosts my metobolism so that at the present time I can lose weight and in the future maintain a good weight. I believe in the postive aspects of walking and I'm willing to forgo an extra hour of sleep.

On a more serious matter, willingness was a major component to starting this change in my lifestyle. And once we start, we must keep the fire of willingness burning. If willingness burns out, do we lose hope? Is it vice versa? Thoughts to ponder and I'm willing to do just that.

Crazy

My alarm startled me this morning and I got up and left hubby sleeping in bed. What a crazy reversal of our lives we have had. For the almost 19 years that we've been married, he's always been the first one up and at 'em. I have always lazed in bed until I had just enough time to shower, dress and get to work on time. Even after he retired, he was often up before me. That's changed in the past month.

Within 10 minutes of being startled awake, I was out walking. For the first quarter mile, I'm thinking, "this is crazy." I was walking like a drunken sailor on sea legs. It takes my body a bit to wake up!

I am getting into a routine that I never thought I would have...... wake early, walk, think about things as I walk, cool down from the walk with a large glass of water and writing in my blog. I prefer to write in the morning while my thoughts are clear and not muddied by a day at work. Then I sit down to a healthy breakfast and read the paper with hubby (yes, he usually gets up when I return from my walk). What a crazy turn of events. Who would have thought?

Competition

On my morning walk, the street that goes around our community is half mile so on a daily basis I am doing four laps. Sometimes I see another couple out walking and sometimes an older lady. I don't usually pass anyone else so I see these people if I am going the opposite direction as they. Whenever I meet the walker(s) I try to see if I can get further than them on the next lap. The older lady is probably 15-20 years older than me and probably 100 pounds lighter than me and when I meet her, she's not even breaking a sweat. Rarely do I beat her. She looks like she's strolling along, while I feel like a steam roller (or a jet) going down the street with sweat flying off my face. Oh well, guess it's all a matter of perception.

Mainly, I compete against the clock. Some days I time my whole walk, other days I time the half mile laps. Right now, I am doing a 20 minute mile regularly. Some people would say, "that's no big deal!" But remember I'm no lightweight out there.

A friend of mine has been heavy like me for years and in June she had her stomach stapled or banded. I probably could have had that done also as I was 100 pounds over my suggested weight, but I just wanted to see if I could get healthier and fitter a different way. Anyway when I talked to her in the middle of June, she was losing weight quite rapidly and I figured out that she weighed less than me. Talk about incentive to get my butt a-going! I don't want to be the heavier one, I will gladly settle for same size and shape as she. From what I heard last night from another friend, I think we're neck-to-neck in the weight category. ;)

I compete with my clothes, tugging, pulling and stretching them on my body. I gauge some of my success by pant legs and sleeves that are loose. I even found my shoes flopping yesterday like my feet had gotten smaller. No, I'm not going out to buy a new wardrobe yet, just enjoying fitting into the clothes that I have.

Competition can be fun as long as I'm winning.

Inventory

It's end of the month, time to take inventory! It's a month ago today that I started this peace project.

P= Physical: I have lost weight, over 7% of my body weight. I am usually walking 2 miles a day. I am sleeping better, shorter time (about 5-6 hours, but with less interruptions). I have more energy. My back hurts bad most of the time.

E= Emotional: I feel better, I think mainly because I am not tired & cranky (I used to wake up almost hour-on-the-hour). I feel more grateful. I feel more balanced.

S=Spiritual: About the same as in the beginning. I don't think/feel any significant changes, but I'm willing to have them happen. But all-in-all, feeling better has lifted my spirits.

Not much of an inventory. But I'm being realistic, yet thankful for the changes I have made in my life.

Persistence

This morning on the way into church, we passed this vine seemingly growing out of the cement and out onto the driveway. The first word that came to mind was "persistence." Can you imagine that young tendril of the plant as it first came out of the ground into the crowded mass of plants?

"Momma, I'm here! Can you see me? You have so many other seedlings growing in this box, how am I supposed to move? I can't breathe!"

"Well young lady, you'll just have to make do. Everything in here is growing so fast and so big, I can't take care of all of you at once. Do the best you can, OK?"

"OK. But it's not OK, maybe I should go back where I came from... the earth. Wait a second, I see some light through that tiny hole over there, maybe if I get really close, I'll be able to get some fresh air. Awwww, that air feels good. Maybe if I just stretch a little further, I'll get more air and sunshine. Ouch! this cement and brick are sharp on my back."

"What are you doing there? You're going to hurt yourself and get stuck in that hole. Come back here, right now!"

"I can't Momma, it's too late to turn back and besides this hole is too small to try and turn back. I'm going to find out what is at the end of this tunnel. Don't worry, Momma, I'm willing to take the chance. I've already grown two inches, I'm ready for adventure."

A few weeks later...... "Wow! What a view and lots of sunshine. The rain gutter above me drips water on me now and then and I feel so vibrant. I wonder how far I can go out here? Oh, don't step on me. Yes, I am pretty, aren't I? That lady called me 'persistent,' I hope that's a good thing because I really worked hard to get through that wall and it's so worth it. Thanks for taking my picture, I hope that I can be an inspiration to you"