After I wrote yesterday's blog, I was reading in Guideposts magazine that Debbie Macomber, author, chooses a word of the year (her book, One Perfect Word). She will "choose one word to focus on and live by. These words have comforted me, challenged me and brought me closer to God. They have changed me. I've used them in my prayers, written about them in my journals, discussed them with my friends. I've seen how they've shaped my spiritual path. Sometimes I even trip over them."
Some of the words she has chosen are hunger, trust, prayer and hope. I immediately thought of the word support, maybe because it was fresh in my mind after writing my blog. Support can be a thing and it can be an action. It can be given and be taken. It can be used in my personal life, my spiritual life and my work life. It's multi-faceted and holds so much potential.
Anyone out there interested in joining my challenge to select a work-of-the-year?
Monday, January 2, 2012
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Last Year, New Year
My sister asked on facebook what was the personal greatest accomplishment in 2011. My first instinct was to respond that I lost 23#, all in a matter of the last few weeks of the year. Then I thought about the fact that my cholesterol and glucose are now in the normal range. Or the fact that after getting a daily dose of anti-depressant, I now feel "normal." These are all items of bragging rights. But I think that my greatest accomplishment was coming to the realization that I was a fat, unhealthy, crabby old woman who was stressed about anything and everything. And I came to the realization that I did not want to be that way any longer.
The fact that I started to make some changes in my life, even at 60 years of age, was my greatest accomplishment. There's a phrase that says "you can teach an old dog new tricks." I would add to that, "it just takes longer."
I will admit that I have always been a complainer, "It's not fair." Guess what, life is not fair. Life is not for the faint-hearted. Life is tough. Only by the grace of God have I lived this long with some of the habits and choices I have made in my life. I often see the glass as half-empty and long for a different life.
Is it fair that I have seen the beautiful turquoise waters of the Caribbean four times as many times as others in the world? Is it fair that I have set foot in 47 of 50 states when others never have the opportunity to leave their home state? Is it fair that I have a faithful and loving husband for 23 years when others might have theirs for only 23 months or never? Is it fair that with my long-time unhealthy habits and obesity that I have never suffered from a heart attack or stroke? No, life is not fair.
The word "fair" means pretty, pure, just, and equitable. That last description, equitable, sums up my philosophy of what I want life to be (i.e. balanced). I started this blog with the goal of having balance in my life. I wanted balance in my life in the aspects of physical, emotional and spiritual. It did not happen! Yes, it did get better for a while and then I spiralled out of control and out of balance again. And I responded again with my age-old adage of "It's not fair!"
An equitable life is even-keeled, no rocking or rolling of the ship. In many respects that is desirable and calming. But when a ship is calm and even-keeled, it's often not moving, not getting anywhere. The winds must fill the sails and move the ship along. Often the ship at full-sail is leaning to one side and it's moving. A person has to adjust to the leaning ship in order to not fall down. They have to grab onto the nearest object to steady themselves. If a person tries to walk alone on a moving ship, they will find themselves flailing and failing to remain upright.
Grabbing onto something offers the support a person needs to get from one point to another on the ship as its moving along. In life, as well as a sailing ship, the key thing to remember is "support." It is a foolish person on the ship that tries to walk around a moving ship without grabbing onto a railing or two. So, why do I not realize that I'm being foolish in trying to walk alone, without support?
Fair seas will have us staying in one place. If I am staying in one place, calm and cool, I am stagnant. The winds of life have to be blowing, sometimes buffeting us to move us along. Life is not about continuous balance and calmness. It is about rocking and rolling, moving us from one destination to another. Hang on, life is going to take me for a ride!
My new years resolution is to view life as a glass full instead of half empty. Exhilaration and excitement comes from the roller coaster experiences of life, not the sitting on the sidelines type of life.
The fact that I started to make some changes in my life, even at 60 years of age, was my greatest accomplishment. There's a phrase that says "you can teach an old dog new tricks." I would add to that, "it just takes longer."
I will admit that I have always been a complainer, "It's not fair." Guess what, life is not fair. Life is not for the faint-hearted. Life is tough. Only by the grace of God have I lived this long with some of the habits and choices I have made in my life. I often see the glass as half-empty and long for a different life.
Is it fair that I have seen the beautiful turquoise waters of the Caribbean four times as many times as others in the world? Is it fair that I have set foot in 47 of 50 states when others never have the opportunity to leave their home state? Is it fair that I have a faithful and loving husband for 23 years when others might have theirs for only 23 months or never? Is it fair that with my long-time unhealthy habits and obesity that I have never suffered from a heart attack or stroke? No, life is not fair.
The word "fair" means pretty, pure, just, and equitable. That last description, equitable, sums up my philosophy of what I want life to be (i.e. balanced). I started this blog with the goal of having balance in my life. I wanted balance in my life in the aspects of physical, emotional and spiritual. It did not happen! Yes, it did get better for a while and then I spiralled out of control and out of balance again. And I responded again with my age-old adage of "It's not fair!"
An equitable life is even-keeled, no rocking or rolling of the ship. In many respects that is desirable and calming. But when a ship is calm and even-keeled, it's often not moving, not getting anywhere. The winds must fill the sails and move the ship along. Often the ship at full-sail is leaning to one side and it's moving. A person has to adjust to the leaning ship in order to not fall down. They have to grab onto the nearest object to steady themselves. If a person tries to walk alone on a moving ship, they will find themselves flailing and failing to remain upright.
Grabbing onto something offers the support a person needs to get from one point to another on the ship as its moving along. In life, as well as a sailing ship, the key thing to remember is "support." It is a foolish person on the ship that tries to walk around a moving ship without grabbing onto a railing or two. So, why do I not realize that I'm being foolish in trying to walk alone, without support?
Fair seas will have us staying in one place. If I am staying in one place, calm and cool, I am stagnant. The winds of life have to be blowing, sometimes buffeting us to move us along. Life is not about continuous balance and calmness. It is about rocking and rolling, moving us from one destination to another. Hang on, life is going to take me for a ride!
My new years resolution is to view life as a glass full instead of half empty. Exhilaration and excitement comes from the roller coaster experiences of life, not the sitting on the sidelines type of life.
Friday, December 9, 2011
Whew!
I'm feeling good and relieved that the injections are over and I'm on to the next step... maintenance plan. I already have been told that the maintenance plan is basically the Atkins plan, no carbs and sugar. I am just hoping that I can add a bit of variety to my diet. One of the proteins that I could eat was shrimp, so I had my fill of shrimp in the past three weeks.
Last night we went to Red Lobster for a dinner party for Paul's men's group from church. I just could not order shrimp, so I chose oven-grilled flounder and broccoli. Yes, I did have ONE of their delicious biscuits. It tasted good, it was the most carbs I've had in three weeks! Usually, when eating at Red Lobster, I have been known to eat at least two, if not three of those biscuits. I have learned over the past weeks, that my body can not take that much carbs, without raising my blood sugar and adding weight.
Tonight I go to the doctor for my final weigh-in and measurements. I know that I lost 23 pounds and some inches, I can tell it in my clothes. I am thankful for this loss and I am thankful I decided to do something for myself. I hope I have learned for the last time, that I must eat healthier in order to be healthier! I know that I have learned this lesson many times before when I have lost weight. Only to go back to nasty old habits and regain the weight. At my age, I don't know how many more chances I will get to relearn this lesson, if I don't take it seriously right now! Lord help me!
Last night we went to Red Lobster for a dinner party for Paul's men's group from church. I just could not order shrimp, so I chose oven-grilled flounder and broccoli. Yes, I did have ONE of their delicious biscuits. It tasted good, it was the most carbs I've had in three weeks! Usually, when eating at Red Lobster, I have been known to eat at least two, if not three of those biscuits. I have learned over the past weeks, that my body can not take that much carbs, without raising my blood sugar and adding weight.
Tonight I go to the doctor for my final weigh-in and measurements. I know that I lost 23 pounds and some inches, I can tell it in my clothes. I am thankful for this loss and I am thankful I decided to do something for myself. I hope I have learned for the last time, that I must eat healthier in order to be healthier! I know that I have learned this lesson many times before when I have lost weight. Only to go back to nasty old habits and regain the weight. At my age, I don't know how many more chances I will get to relearn this lesson, if I don't take it seriously right now! Lord help me!
Friday, December 2, 2011
Into the future!
In another week or so I will be done with this phase of an intensive weight loss program. The injections and the very low calorie diet will be done. Done, just in time to go on vacation. Do I ever plan things right? Because the next phase will be upping my daily calorie intake a bit, in other words I can have more vegetables. I never would have thought that I would crave broccoli and green beans.
I am already thinking (read - worrying) about the future. Will I be able to maintain my weight loss while on vacation, when all my meals will be bought in a restaurant? Will I be able to find enough foods that I can eat? Will I cave in to my cravings... other than broccoli and green beans?
The program suggests that a person take a portable scale with them on vacation so that you can monitor weight gains and act appropriately. It is also written that if you depend on how your clothes fit, you won't get the true status of your body. I know that it may seem as though I'm obsessive about weight and checking it every day. But I have to admit that my weight gains of 5-10# have usually occurred when I have NOT looked at my scale in weeks or months. It is true for me that I don't realize I'm gaining THAT MUCH weight until it's too late.
Too-late for me is dangerous. High weight for me = High cholesterol, high blood sugar, high risk of heart attack or stroke. Those are "highs" I don't need.
Lord, help me focus on today's food plan and not worry about the tomorrows of my life. My only "worry" should be how to pack my portable scale in my luggage. Don't worry, I will find a way!
I am already thinking (read - worrying) about the future. Will I be able to maintain my weight loss while on vacation, when all my meals will be bought in a restaurant? Will I be able to find enough foods that I can eat? Will I cave in to my cravings... other than broccoli and green beans?
The program suggests that a person take a portable scale with them on vacation so that you can monitor weight gains and act appropriately. It is also written that if you depend on how your clothes fit, you won't get the true status of your body. I know that it may seem as though I'm obsessive about weight and checking it every day. But I have to admit that my weight gains of 5-10# have usually occurred when I have NOT looked at my scale in weeks or months. It is true for me that I don't realize I'm gaining THAT MUCH weight until it's too late.
Too-late for me is dangerous. High weight for me = High cholesterol, high blood sugar, high risk of heart attack or stroke. Those are "highs" I don't need.
Lord, help me focus on today's food plan and not worry about the tomorrows of my life. My only "worry" should be how to pack my portable scale in my luggage. Don't worry, I will find a way!
Monday, November 28, 2011
Steps
Two weeks ago, I had just about reached the end of my rope. Actually, there have been a few times this fall that I felt that way. This day was the most recent end-of-my-rope days. Everything seemed to be out of control or at least out of MY control... my weight, blood sugar, mood, etc, etc.
I realized that I had to do something for my health, beside the anti-depressant that I basically begged my doctor to prescribe for me a week earlier. So I decided to do the HCG injections in effort to lose weight and fat. I knew several people at work that had done it with success. I heard they also have drops that you put in your mouth, but the doctor's office said, "they are not as effective."
I got an appointment that day and went to hear about the injections and 500 calorie diet. I paid my money and wondered if I really would be able to give myself injections. I have not liked needles since I was kid and like most kids I would cry and scream when the needle was in sight. The nurse told me, "you won't even feel this injection, it will hurt much less then taking your blood sugar." Ya, right?
It was with a great amount of trepidation that I took my syringes, my documents and left the office. All night I dreamed about needles. The next morning I prepped myself and put the tip of the needle on my belly. I took a deep breath and then a miracle happened. I looked down, the needle had already penetrated my skin and I didn't even feel it! A little push to get the needle (only about 1.5 inches) into my fat and push the medicine into my body. WooHoo! I did it!
And I have done it every day since. Plus I have been on low calorie diet, that has virtually no carbs and no sweets and no alcohol. Already I have seen results, 15 pounds down, swelling is gone in my feet, blood sugar in normal ranges (without pills). I am pleased with these steps and these results. But I would die for a piece of pizza right now!
One of the people at work said, "Rayna, it's all in your head." The HCG injections jump start my weight loss, but I know that I have to work on my mind games in order to keep the weight loss and keep the healthy eating continuous. As I have written before, I am not so-good about perseverance, so this will be a challenge. Can I do this?
I realized that I had to do something for my health, beside the anti-depressant that I basically begged my doctor to prescribe for me a week earlier. So I decided to do the HCG injections in effort to lose weight and fat. I knew several people at work that had done it with success. I heard they also have drops that you put in your mouth, but the doctor's office said, "they are not as effective."
I got an appointment that day and went to hear about the injections and 500 calorie diet. I paid my money and wondered if I really would be able to give myself injections. I have not liked needles since I was kid and like most kids I would cry and scream when the needle was in sight. The nurse told me, "you won't even feel this injection, it will hurt much less then taking your blood sugar." Ya, right?
It was with a great amount of trepidation that I took my syringes, my documents and left the office. All night I dreamed about needles. The next morning I prepped myself and put the tip of the needle on my belly. I took a deep breath and then a miracle happened. I looked down, the needle had already penetrated my skin and I didn't even feel it! A little push to get the needle (only about 1.5 inches) into my fat and push the medicine into my body. WooHoo! I did it!
And I have done it every day since. Plus I have been on low calorie diet, that has virtually no carbs and no sweets and no alcohol. Already I have seen results, 15 pounds down, swelling is gone in my feet, blood sugar in normal ranges (without pills). I am pleased with these steps and these results. But I would die for a piece of pizza right now!
One of the people at work said, "Rayna, it's all in your head." The HCG injections jump start my weight loss, but I know that I have to work on my mind games in order to keep the weight loss and keep the healthy eating continuous. As I have written before, I am not so-good about perseverance, so this will be a challenge. Can I do this?
Sunday, November 20, 2011
Stick with it!
Perseverance has never been my forte'. My claim to fame is that the only thing I have stuck-with for a long time is my husband! :) Everything else gets abandoned in a few short weeks or years. I can't even count how many books I have started and never finished. Part of me says, "So what?" Another part of me says, "Why me?" Why can't I stick with anything?
Am I afraid of endings, completions or success? I don't think so. Am I just bored after a certain time? Maybe. It's a puzzling aspect of my life that I wonder if it will ever change. Who knows.
I feel quite well after six days on this new "journey." So, I'm also getting paranoid about and questioning myself "When is the ball going to drop and stop me in my tracks?" Hmmm. Interesting. One day at a time.
Am I afraid of endings, completions or success? I don't think so. Am I just bored after a certain time? Maybe. It's a puzzling aspect of my life that I wonder if it will ever change. Who knows.
I feel quite well after six days on this new "journey." So, I'm also getting paranoid about and questioning myself "When is the ball going to drop and stop me in my tracks?" Hmmm. Interesting. One day at a time.
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Time will Tell!
I just happened to review my two recent posts and saw that I had signed-off on both of them with the phrase, "Time will tell!" It wasn't intentional, but it must have something to do with my subconscious thoughts. One day at a time is my motto for the day.
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